Spam-Bam Thank You Ma’am (December 2014)

 

SpamXmas

 

A very Merry Christmas to all you spammers out there.  I thought about giving you a break this month, seeing as it’s the season of goodwill towards all – but what the hey, you’re apparently not into the spirit, either.  Even so, I’ll try to be polite in my responses:

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Comment (excerpt):

“my voice sucks on karaoke that is why i am taking sining lessons now from professionals”

Response:

I’m not sure what this comment has to do with Paul Curran’s guest post, Serendipity,  but I’m sure we’ re both sorry you are unable to “sin.”

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Comment:

“Some times its a discomfort within the ass to read what weblog owners wrote but this internet website is genuinely user genial !”

Response:

Far be it from me to be a discomfort within any body part.  But I’m very happy that you consider me to be user genial.  [Could’ve been much worse.]

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Comment (excerpt):

“I am glad to be a visitant of this gross internet weblog …”

Response:

Are you by any chance related to the foregoing commenters?  I am sorry that you find my blog (or at least Paul Curran’s guest post, Serendipity) to be gross.

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Comment:

“I absolutely love your blog and find many of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for. Does one offer guest writers to write content for yourself? I wouldn’t mind writing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write in relation to here. Again, awesome web log!”

MyBlogGuest

 [This comment was written on Paul Curran’s guest post, Red Stars at Night – congratulations, Paul, you have your very own spammers!]

Response:

Maybe it’s just me, but it seems like poor taste to ask my guest poster, through my blog, whether you can guest write for him.  Perhaps you should contact him directly.

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Comment (excerpt):

“I’m not here to waste your time …”

Response:

The balance of this very lengthy comment was a solicitation for me to join your “team.”  I love the part where you indicate, “No tricks, no scams, no stupid advertisements. We’re tired of those too.  Seriously, I want people I can trust, people that work hard.”  ‘Cause, I’m sure you, yourself, are so very trustworthy.  I’ll pass, thank you.

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Comment (excerpt):

“Greetings from Florida! I’m bored at work so I decided to check out your website on my iphone during lunch break …”

Response:

Colorado, Ohio, Carolina, and now Florida.  Really get around, don’t you?  Would you like the link to the last commenter?  I hear he/she is looking for “people that work  hard.”

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Comment:

“WOW just what I was looking for. Came here by searching for gold watches.”

Response:

I don’t know why I find this comment so amusing.  I don’t even own a watch, gold or otherwise, nor have I ever written about watches.  Although, I did write a post about what I would do when my ship finally came in – sorry to tell you, however, that gold watches were not on my must-have list.  You might want to search elsewhere.

♦♦♦

coasters

A new year is coming.  Will the spammers resolve to leave me alone?  Will I resolve not to continue this Spam-Bam series?  Join me next month to find out.

(As usual, apologies to the appropriate commenter if any of the foregoing weren’t, in fact, spam.  I realize that some comments suffer in translation, and I try to take that into account when determining what is spam and what is legitimate.)

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I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com

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Images by: s_p_a_c_e_m_a_n, and seosmarty, and BazaarBizarreSF, respectively

Posted in Maintain It Up, Spam-Bam, That's Life | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

The Grumpy Alter-Ego vs. Christmas Joy

BahHumbug007

Please check out the mirror blog.  Apparently Not Cordelia’s Mom has some serious issues with this holiday season, especially with the fact that my grown children have [finally] agreed to let me host at least one meal at my house:

 

HO-HO-NOT (or, The Christmas That Won’t Be If I Have Anything To Do With It) – by Not Cordelia’s Mom

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I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com

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Images by:  Gale

Posted in Holidays, Not Cordelia's Mom, Relationships, That's Life | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

My Dad Drinks

Every parent everywhere has probably had a similar experience. It’s hilarious to everyone but the parent involved.

Underdaddy's avatarUnderdaddy

I have tried to be good, really I have. My cautionary tales of trying to be careful of what you say and do around children have apparently been in vain. There really is no way to guess what can be misrepresented.

I am responsible for the bedtime ritual of tucking the children into bed and I love it. Not only because it starts off adult time but because at the end of the day I get a few minutes with the girls to wish them well for the night and give hugs and kisses. For about a month now they have asked me for themed hugs at bedtime. Themed just means that I am supposed to act like a different animal and give them hugs like that animal might (an elephant uses big flappy ears and trumpets).

The first night I gave “Turkey” hugs where I would proceed to gobble my way…

View original post 517 more words

Posted in Re-Blogs, Relationships, That's Life | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Get the Kids Out of Your Hair

GoatHugsAt this time of year, many of you who have small children find it difficult to complete your holiday projects, like decorating, baking, and, of course, wrapping those Santa gifts.  Having [pretty much successfully] raised three girls of my own, I thought I’d share some of the ways I found to amuse my kids, without having to spend a lot of money to do so.

(Bear in mind, that I never had sons, so I have no experience with entertaining [little] boys.)

The Waterfall.  We had a high chair with one of those large trays with built-up sides.  I used to place the high chair on a large plastic tarp and then give my toddler various plastic bowls and plastic glasses filled with water, to which I would add just a drop or two of food coloring.   The baby had great fun pouring one container into another and mixing up all the colors.  For extra entertainment, I would give her some plastic or wooden spoons for stirring (just like Mommy does while she cooks).  It was nice clean fun (washing built right into play!), and if she drank some of the water, so what – it was just diluted food coloring.

A Different Drummer.  I got this idea from my own mother.  Take all the pots and pans out of the cupboard (but no glass lids, please), place them on the floor, and give the child a wooden spoon.  You might want to wear earplugs for awhile, and of course, you’ll have to wash all those pots and pans afterwards, but it’s totally worth it.  (If you’re brave enough to increase the chaos, add some plastic bowls and plates, and maybe some paper bags.)

SmurfStuck Up.  I discovered this by accident.  My 2-yearold had a large plastic Smurf coin bank.  I was doing something (I can’t recall what) that required use of masking tape, so I gave a tiny piece to my daughter, and she immediately stuck it to the Smurf bank.  She was so proud of her handiwork that I gave her a second piece of tape.  An hour later, we had a Smurf bank with something like 6 inches of masking tape on top, and a very happy little girl.

The Hidey Hole.  My aunt came up with this when I was little.  Take two kitchen chairs and lay them flat on the floor with the legs of one touching the legs of the other.  Place a blanket over the whole thing. Voilà!  Instant tent!  I loved it.  (The only drawback is that you have to pretend that you really don’t know where the kid is, and have to periodically call out, “Where’s [CookieCakes]?  I can’t find her!”

Mommy Me.  One year, Christmas was fast approaching, and I had absolutely no excess cash.  In desperation, I took an old gym bag and filled it with my own “outgrown” clothes and discarded jewelry.  I solicited donations of clothing and such from my co-workers, and received so much that I actually had to add a second bag (a discarded diaper bag).  My girls loved it!  Those satchels became the go-to bags for dress-up, tea-parties with the stuffed animals, and of course, Halloween.

Power’s Out But Not the Fun.  During Buffalo, NY’s October surprise storm in 2006 [not to be confused with our recent Snowvember Storm] we were without electricity for 10 days.  We were able to light the gas stove burners, so we could cook, but everything had to be done by candlelight – and of course, there was no TV!  You haven’t lived until you’ve played Scrabble by candlelight and toasted marshmallows over a candle’s flame – yum!

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I’m sure many of you have your own favorite ways of entertaining offspring.  Feel free to share in the comments below – you might be saving some poor tantruming toddler from being thrown out into the snow.

Tantrum

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I love to hear from my readers.  You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com

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Images by:  Tc Morgan, and Oriol Salvador,  and Lovelorn Poets, respectively

Posted in Holidays, Relationships, That's Life | Tagged , , , , | 16 Comments