Cordelia's Mom, Still

I’m smiling a lot these days.  Please don’t hate me.

So many years, things never seemed to work out right.  So many years, there was at least one area of major stress in my life.

So much has changed in the last year.  I now have a great job, the new house is solid and the remaining updates are coming along nicely, the neighborhood is peaceful and the neighbors friendly but nonintrusive.  My daughters are all grown and on their own, with good jobs and good significant others – and all three live locally and keep in touch.  I have Puppy Cody to keep me entertained (and in a daily exercise routine).  The hubby still tells me I’m beautiful (yes, he’s in serious need of new glasses, or a brain scan.)

Dare I enjoy the newfound content?  I keep having this niggling feeling that things are simply going too well.  My life has never gone well, and somehow I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Hopefully, I haven’t jinxed myself simply by stating my irrational fear.

Be that as it may.

Four days a week, I go off to my new job, where my bosses constantly express their appreciation of my work.  That’s not a job environment I’m used to, and I’m enjoying the hell out of it.  I even decided to take some personal effects into my new office.  At lunchtime, I can close my door, prop my feet up on a box while eating my lunch, and stare at my little knickknacks or out the window.  Sometimes I can even shut my eyes for 10 or 15 minutes.  Wish I had that job years ago!

I even have a back staircase if I want to sneak out at lunchtime.  Not that I need to “sneak” – I guess I still haven’t completely released the stress from my previous job.  There, it was work-work-work and no matter how hard or well the job was done, the employees were treated as if they were worthless.  I’m still amazed I lasted an entire year in that job.

The weird thing is, though – a few weeks back, I decided to stop in at the old office.  I went out and bought a small gift basket for The Boss From Hell to thank her for giving me a good referral.  In my mind, it was sort of an FU situation – I got a better job and you can stuff the one I had, but I still have great respect for your professional skills, and I appreciate that you didn’t F me over when my new employer called for a reference.

I really expected a cold reception, or at least a cool polite one.  But that’s not what happened.  The Boss From Hell greeted me enthusiastically, as if I were an exceptional employee who was truly missed.  She even came out from behind her desk to chat.

The other attorneys and staff acted the same way.

Heck, had I been treated that way while working there, maybe I would have stayed!  I left that office feeling slightly guilty for harboring bad thoughts.

See, even when I’m trying to be a little nasty, it always seems to backfire.  Maybe I’m more lovable than I see myself.

As for the “Circles Within  Circles” part of the title:  I keep running into cases of deja vu.  Several of the clients at my new firm are people for whom I handled deals at prior firms; my new office is across the street from the office which closed doors two years ago; the route to my new job takes me past the office I worked at last year; I continually seem to come into contact with professional people I’ve known  over the past 20 years.  And probably the strangest case of deja vu was the first time I used the rest room at my new office and discovered the light fixture is the same one I bought and installed into the house I just sold.  Is that freaky, or what?

Yes, life is good at the moment, and I intend to enjoy it while it lasts.  Enjoy your weekend, everyone!

PS:  This post was prompted by Pensitivity’s March 1 post, “Restart“.  It got me thinking – always a risky situation.

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Images by Cordelia’s Mom