A COUP? NOT ON MY WATCH! (A Collaborated Post)

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Oh, oh – sounds like trouble is a-brewing! Look at the email exchange I found over on the Not CM site!

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JamalaDear Mehitabel,

Allow me to introduce myself. I am a former resident of my nation’s capital – Canberra, Australia. I recently moved to Melbourne to be with a like-minded comrade. Although she is human she is surprisingly interesting. She is a fan of both the red and giant panda. It is through her connection to the giant panda that I read about your plight.

As a former Canberran, I am well versed in political machinations. May I suggest that the van full of peacekeeping bears is driven straight over the border into Mexico and left there. I hear a very influential man is about to build a wall separating that country from yours. Hopefully said bears will be stranded! If this does not work I have plenty of ideas. We in Australia have many ways of dealing with unwanted “visitors” – especially customs evading dogs! As for pesky vampires, I have a secret that may assist in dealing with Vlad. Please let me know if you would like assistance.

Your cat-like friend,

Jamala the Red Panda.

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sm.mehitabelDear Jamala,

Please excuse me for my tardy reply. She WithThe Food has been very careful to put away the computer so that I couldn’t get into any mischief hmph! I wish she paid that much attention to pandas. They are much more troublesome than I am. Uh oh! I think I hear her coming. Better scamper.

I do like your idea about sending the bears in the truck to Mexico.

We’ll talk again soon as I can get online.

Mehitabel

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JamalaDear Mehitabel,

Thank you for responding. It is a shame that SheWithTheFood is so restrictive with your computer time. Perhaps you could take a leaf out of our Antipodean book. If our “leaders” get too out of hand we simply replace them! SheWithTheFood may be less restrictive if she feared being deposed. I am sure there would be many who would love to cater to your cat needs with the appropriate amount of servitude and gratitude while deluding themselves that they are your “leader”.

I must be off – I have to check who our current leader is. It has been weeks since the last coup.

Looking forward to our continued alliance.

Jamala the Red Panda

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Dear Mehitabel and Jamala,

A coup? I am so in! Can I be an officer or something so I can stomp on Teddy Rosalie and Puppy Cody? And give Vlad orders to go back to England and stay there? Can I get some kind of authority over the Peacekeeping Bears?

Eagerly awaiting my call to action,

ShadowPaws

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How can we get word to Vlad and the Peace Keeping bears that they are about to be overthrown?

Stay tuned for the next episode of Cats vs. Dogs vs. Bears vs. Pandas (if you are a new reader, click here for the last most recent episode – which, of course, then has links to all the previous ones!).

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I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com

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Jamala image and text by Vicky V (V Something Speaks); Mehitabel image and text by Anne Belov (a/k/a Bob T. Panda, The Panda Chronicles); ShadowPaws images and text by Cordelia’s Mom

 

Posted in Humor, Not Cordelia's Mom, Pets, Relationships, Teddy Rosalie, That's Life | Tagged , , , , , | 23 Comments

The Canadians Cameth (Again)

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Where the f* is Cordelia’s Mom leading us?

In October of last year, I had my very first blogger meet-and-greet when the Grumpy Old Dude (otherwise known as G.O.D., and the owner of the blog, Archon’s Den) and his Mrs. drove down from Canada to have lunch with my mother-in-law and me in Tonawanda, NY, after which I led the way to the hotel where they were staying – via my famous back roads short cuts. They survived. And agreed to return.

Over this past weekend, I was again honored by G.O.D.’s visit, this time accompanied by his son, Shimoniac Jones [his blogger name – check out his blog here]. My husband, a non-blogger, graciously agreed to join us – once I promised that the ENTIRE visit would not consist of blogger talk.

(Cordelia was supposed to come, but opted out – offering the excuse that now that she has returned to the 9-5 grind, she would find the visit depressing. Far be it from me to upset one of my kids, even if she was the one who got me into blogging in the first place.)

(And blogger Mark Bialczak had hoped to come with his wife, but it turned out they had a prior commitment for Saturday, and unfortunately, I was unavailable on Sunday. Someday soon, Mark – I promise.)

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Teddy Rosalie with her new Canadian friends

This year’s meet-and-greet was at The Grapevine Restaurant in Amherst, NY. Hubby and I arrived first, and the hostess expressed surprise when I told her that the other party would be carrying a stuffed teddy bear. Sheesh, doesn’t every one carry a teddy bear when meeting someone new for the first (or second) time?

On the other hand, she didn’t seem the least bit curious that I was carrying not only Teddy Rosalie, but also Not CM’s new cat, Shadowpaws (thank you Lady Ryl, for the name). I guess somewhat elderly ladies can carry whatever they wish into a restaurant – stuffed toys are probably just considered charmingly eccentric.

The Grapevine is my favorite restaurant, and I chose it to impress. Naturally, because I had raved about it, the service that day was just a wee bit below par. For whatever reasons, the soups came out one … by … one. Mine was served first, and I politely waited for the others to be served. When I realized my French Onion soup was getting cold (who wants congealed cheese?), I decided to dig in – at which point the next soup came out, followed by the third one several minutes later. And then, of course, the sandwiches came out immediately, forcing us to juggle soup bowls and sandwich plates.

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ShadowPaws decided to join us for lunch

This restaurant prides itself on preparing food however the customer wants it. Normally, if a hamburger is ordered, the customer is asked how he or she would like it cooked. Not the day of our visit, however – Shimoniac’s burger was delivered medium, and he prefers well done. And of course, being Canadian, he was too polite to say so – until the meal was over.

All the food was tasty, however, and the vibrant conversation made up for the restaurant’s minor failings.

I had heard that G.O.D. really wanted to meet Puppy Cody, and of course, I was dying for someone other than family to see my newly renovated house. So after lunch, we piled into our respective vehicles, and I led the way (via my famous back roads shortcuts) to my house.

Unfortunately, Puppy Cody decided to be skittish that day. I think she may have been a bit intimidated by G.O.D.’s son, whose nickname is “The Bear” – and who totally lives up to that name. Good thing I have a nice new kitchen table that’s just right for a dog to hide under.

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The Not So Grumpy Old Dude brought Cody a new toy, which she enjoyed later that evening

After a short visit and chat, it was time to lead the way to the Walden Galleria Mall in Cheektowaga, NY.

In my own defense, let me say that I rarely go to that Mall because it’s so big, and normally someone else drives. But hubby opted to stay home with the now-traumatized dog while I escorted our guests to their next destination. Again, back roads and short cuts. Everything was fine until I turned into the shopping plaza BEFORE the Mall instead of into Galleria Drive, which leads to the Mall. No harm done– we simply wound up going back out onto extremely busy Walden Avenue, with G.O.D.’s vehicle within easy striking distance of my SUV’s back bumper.

I remembered now why I seldom go to that Mall – parking is a NIGHTMARE. My first thought was, “Oh, shit, there won’t be anywhere for two vehicles to pull over together.” And as usual, the Mall parking lot was full of Canadians – who, of course, have absolutely no idea where they’re going and are never in any hurry to get there. But hey, I’m told our local economy needs their loonies and toonies.

Eventually, I managed to wend the way to the back of the Sears store, where parking spaces were ample (well, duh, few people willingly enter the Mall through the back of the Sears store!).

By now it had started raining – of course. We said our goodbyes as quickly as possible and hopped back into our respective vehicles. The last I saw of G.O.D. and his son, they were pulling into a parking space other than the one I had chosen for them (fickle people). I took a deep breath and headed out onto the Cheektowaga roads – how I wound up on Union Road when I had come in on Walden Avenue, I don’t know, but fortunately I knew the area well enough to get myself back home in a timely fashion.

Hopefully, G.O.D. and Shimoniac had a nice afternoon of shopping, and they hopefully found their way back to the Thruway to make the really long trip to their selected hotel. (Apparently, no rooms were to be had anywhere in the Buffalo, NY area due to events that weekend at the University at Buffalo North Campus.)

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Toy duck and maple sugar candy – the perfect gift!

For me, it was a great day – I got to meet and eat with a blogger I admire, I got a new supply of maple sugar candy, and Cody got a new toy. And I didn’t have to drive across the bridges into Canada to do so!

I’ll leave it to G.O.D. to tell his side of the story and enlighten us to any events that occurred between the time I left them at the Walden Galleria Mall and the time they finally arrived back home in Canada (be sure to check out Archon’s Den in a few days!).

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I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com

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Images by Cordelia’s Mom

Posted in Relationships, Road Trips & Cars, That's Life | Tagged , , , , , | 25 Comments

It’s no longer boring to be put on ice

I don’t know about all of you, but I really needed a chuckle today, and this post fit the bill. Enjoy – and then check out some of the other posts on WGR56’s blog.

(Comments are closed here – please leave comments on the other site.)

Glenn Redus's avatarROAMIN' GNOMIALS

It might be hard to see, but if you squint your eyes just right, you might just make out the new camouflaged chest freezer. It might be hard to see, but if you squint your eyes, you might just make out the new camouflaged chest freezer.

I stumbled across something new at work today. I mean I literally stumbled across it. Why? I couldn’t see the damned thing because it’s camouflaged!

That’s right, folks, the camouflaged chest freezer is off the drawing boards and into a Big Orange home-improvement store near you. Now at first I wondered why anybody would want a camouflaged chest freezer, but the more I thought about it, the more it makes sense.

  • Deer, rabbits and turkeys will literally be jumping into this thing and you won’t have to lift a finger, except maybe to close the lid.
  • Unwanted houseguests will be more apt to leave quickly if they can’t find the food supplies.
  • The camouflage makes a bold fashion statement in today’s modern kitchen.
  • Who needs stainless steel appliances…

View original post 195 more words

Posted in Re-Blogs, That's Life | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Spam-Bam Thank You Ma’am (September 2015)

SpamDandy

How do you know you’ve “arrived” as a blogger?  Well, obviously, it’s when you start receiving your very own spam comments.  I was going to forward the following spam to Paul Curran  because it was all written on his guest posts – but answering these comments is just so much fun that I decided to do it myself [again].  I’m sure Paul will jump in at the end with his own comments, so be sure to read everything, folks:

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Comment [excerpt]:

“Not sure how what to wear on date night? …”

Response:

I’m not sure that Paul has a lot of date nights any more, but if he does, I’m confident he can figure out just what to wear.

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Comment:

Like that, you are a couple of shoes away from your chosen page.”

Response:

I don’t know exactly what this comment is supposed to mean, but it seems to fit with the rest of the ones I’ve chosen today.  After all, you really do need a couple of [decent] shoes for a proper date night.

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Comment [excerpt]:

It’s perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy. …”

Response:

Guess Paul figured out what to wear for date night – they’re already making plans!

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Comment:

Jimmy JumpSo the very first thing you need to do in order to jump higher is usually to develop habits and also the mindset of the elite athlete. Second, make sure you have ample rest between workouts. Your vertical jump program has to become developing areas which might be limiting YOUR athletic ability.”

Response:

The most amusing thing about this comment is that it was posted on Paul’s story entitled “Gramps.” Somehow I don’t think Gramps is much up to high jumping these days – unless, of course, date night went really well.

[With apologies to Paul Curran for taking liberties with the title and subject of that intriguing post.  If you missed it, click here.]

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Comment [excerpt]:

Hello very cool blog!! Guy .. Beautiful .. Wonderful ..

Response:

Apparently, Paul’s date has now given him a nickname – Very Cool Blog Guy!  I think that’s fitting, don’t you?

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Comment:

At this moment I am ready to do my breakfast, after having my breakfast coming yet again to read other news.”

Response:

And so, all dates must eventually come to an end – until the next time.

♦♦♦

Wasn’t that fun? Maybe next month, I’ll have Paul Curran respond to the spam comments on MY posts.  I know he can do it every bit as well as I can, probably better.  Let’s see where the spammers lead us.

(As usual, apologies to the appropriate commenter if any of the foregoing weren’t, in fact, spam.  I realize that some comments suffer in translation, and I try to take that into account when determining what is spam and what is legitimate.)

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I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com

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Images by:  Elvis Kennedy, and Chema Conellón, respectively

Posted in Guest Posters, Humor, Paul Curran, Relationships, That's Life | Tagged , , , , , , , | 15 Comments