How Cordelia’s Mom Became Addicted

HospitalBed“Ohmygod, I thought she was dead!”

The more experienced doctors in the morning  “doctor parade” immediately ushered that medical student right out of my hospital room.

But she really couldn’t be blamed.  At that point in my battle with ulcerative colitis, I had been in the hospital for a number of days and had been bleeding heavily for weeks.  My complexion was approximately the same color as the sheets on the hospital bed, and I was so weak that I basically just lay there with my eyes shut, waiting for everyone to leave me alone already.  I remember wishing someone could bring my dogs to the hospital so I could hug them just one last time.

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Ulcerative colitis is a nasty disease and can be life-threatening if not diagnosed and treated early.  You can bleed to death from ulcerative colitis.  I nearly did.

In my case, I totally ignored all symptoms for years.  I just assumed that some abdominal cramping and occasional rectal bleeding was normal in a woman my age, and I attributed both to hemorrhoids.  I’d wait for the episodes to pass (so to speak), and then go merrily on my way eating whatever and whenever I pleased.

But then I got scared.  In 2010, the bleeding and pain became constant (24/7), to the point where I was bleeding in my sleep and through my clothes.  I recalled a co-worker previously telling me her mother had died because she had ignored the same symptoms and had colon cancer which was not diagnosed soon enough to save her.

I remember breaking down when my primary physician walked into the exam room and asked the routine “How are you today?” question.  I thought sure I had colon cancer and was going to die.

My primary calmed me down and ordered a colonoscopy.  (Anyone who’s ever had one knows what fun the prep is!).  The colonoscopy showed ulcerative colitis, diverticulitis, and internal hemorrhoids.  Yuuuuuucky!

I began the usual course of prednisone and Asacol HD, and while the symptoms didn’t completely disappear, they did become manageable.  Or so I thought.

Again, I assumed that some bleeding could be expected because my disease was being forced into remission but had not yet gotten there.  So, I never said anything to my colon-rectal surgeon.

RunningUntil February, 2011.  At that point, I was very sick and refusing to acknowledge it.  The rectal bleeding had again become constant, and I was running to the bathroom every couple of minutes.  It became the office joke that if [CookieCakes] was seen rushing down the hall, get the hell out of her way!

I found myself doing stupid things like putting the glass in the refrigerator and the milk in the cupboard.  And doing dangerous things, like forgetting that I had turned on the gas burner on the stove.  My driving skills had degenerated to the point that I probably shouldn’t have been behind the wheel at all.  I began to wonder if I was developing dementia.

At night, I would wake up with horrendous cramps in my hands, legs and feet, cramps that seemed to last forever and and would leave me with soreness in the muscles the next day.

In the morning, I would wake up in a pool of sweat, even though it was the dead of winter, and despite the fact that I was shivering from the cold.

I remember being cold all the time (I contributed that to the Buffalo, NY winter), and found myself standing on the floor heating vent at work trying to control the shivers.  Then I looked in the mirror and noticed that my lips looked like I had just eaten a powdered donut, and I had not eaten anything at all that morning.

I called my colon-rectal surgeon, who sent me for blood work and made an appointment for me for that very afternoon.  Cordelia (who at that time worked with me) drove me to and from the lab for blood work (she told me later I looked so bad it scared her).  I then managed to drive myself home from work, but called my husband and made him come home because I was afraid I would pass out in the shower.

At the doctor’s office a little bit later, the colon-rectal surgeon took one look at my face and said, “Go right to the ER.  You don’t look well.”  I was admitted to the hospital that evening.

And that’s why a number of days later I overheard that unsettling comment from an inexperienced medical student.  I was in the hospital for a total of 10 days.  Thank heavens I had a private room with its own bathroom (just lucked out – the hospital was not overcrowded right then).

During the 10-day hospitalization, I was on a number of IV meds – the control panel on the IV stand looked like something out of Star Trek.  One of the IV antibiotics I was given pushed me into a period of violent vomiting, just as the rectal bleeding was coming under control.  And because I could not keep anything down for such a long period of time, and the normal IV solutions weren’t keeping my metabolism balanced, I found myself with a PICC line (intravenous feed through a vein in the upper arm and running to a larger vein near the heart).

But eventually, I was stabilized and sent home, on Asacol HD and prednisone.  Other meds were added and deleted as needed, including Canasa suppositories and steroid enemas.  My disease went nearly into remission, and by early 2012 the outlook was good.

PrednisoneEXCEPT THAT, now I could not get off the prednisone.  Long-term prednisone therapy causes weakening of the bones and can result in things like broken legs or hips.  It is advisable to get off the prednisone at some point, and I couldn’t.  The original 40 mg a day was weaned down in 5 mg increments until I got to about 5 mg a day, at which point, every single time, every one of my original UC symptoms returned.  And I had been on prednisone nearly constantly for 2 years.

Can you say frustration?  Can you say drug addiction?

(Yes, Cordelia’s Mom had become a drug addict, so to speak.)

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NEXT WEEK – THE BATTLE CONTINUES.

DOES CORDELIA’S MOM STAY A DRUG ADDICT, OR DOES SHE EVENTUALLY GET OFF THE PREDNISONE AND INTO REMISSION?

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I love to hear from my readers.  You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook page, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com

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Images by:  Michael Cory, and stuart anthony/stuant63, and Tim Samoff, respectively

Posted in Health, That's Life | Tagged , , , , , , | 25 Comments

The Monthly Schedule

AnticipationNot THAT monthly schedule, silly people!

As my readers know, at the beginning of each month I post a list of subjects that I will be writing about during that month.  I started doing that for lack of something better to post one day, and it seemed to catch on (who doesn’t love flying monkeys?).

Of course, there are both advantages and disadvantages to giving such a preview:

ThumbsUpADVANTAGES

  • I don’t face those last-minute posting deadlines since I schedule my posts up to a month in advance.
  • I can cough up ideas in a more leisurely manner than people who publish their posts the same day they write them.
  • If I can’t come up with any ideas on any particular day, I don’t have a panic attack (well, actually, I do, but it’s not as severe as it could be).
  • If I become ill or involved in some life-changing event (like a new puppy!), my stress level is somewhat eased by the knowledge that I already have that week’s post written and scheduled.
  • My readers have some idea of what’s coming.  If a scheduled post is especially enticing (aren’t they all?), they can mark it on a calendar; if a scheduled post looks boring as hell (heaven forbid), they can mark that on the calendar, too.
  • Should I accidentally write about a subject that is covered by another blogger between the time the preview is published and the time a post is published, I can always say, “Look, I had it SCHEDULED first!”  (WordPress may stink on stats, but they do keep track of the dates of every, single one of those 50+ drafts of each post!)

ThumbsDownDISADVANTAGES

  • I actually have to write the darn posts that far in advance!  And, I have to come up with those cute little teasers for the schedule.
  • Once I publish the schedule, I’m locked into actually publishing those particular posts, even if I re-read them and decide they’re fluffy pieces of crap (cotton balls, anyone?).  Or else, at the last minute, I have to create a different post on the same subject matter.
  • If I come up with some earth-shattering idea outside what I’ve scheduled, I have to publish a “special edition” post.  (Actually this may be more of an advantage, since those special posts seem to get more traffic.)
  • Once I publish the schedule, I run the risk of some news-worthy event coinciding with a post that has a dramatically differing viewpoint.  Suppose, for instance, I write a post about hating kids (or at least sometimes finding them annoying), and then there’s another school shooting the day before my scheduled post runs.  Or worse yet, my post runs in the morning and the news story hits later in the day.  Definitely would not be good.  And hopefully won’t ever happen.
  • While allowing my readers to note my scheduled posts on their calendar, it is also a disadvantage because I could very well lose readership for any particular post if my readers deem that post not worth taking the time to read (please, God, NOOOOO).

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Wine

Others have told me that writing a blog is not for the faint-hearted, and the longer I write mine, the more I believe them.  But that has never stopped me from doing I want before, and I won’t let it stop me now.

I have noticed, however, that I seem to be enjoying more of my evening glasses of wine now than I did before starting this silly thing.

And so, a toast to bloggers around the world, and to whatever it is that provides those bloggers with the material for their work!  (hiccup)

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I love to hear from my readers.  You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook page, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com

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Images by:  Barbara/Sweet Dreamz Design, and Rick Harrison/tricky, and Desi/the Italian voice, and Domiriel, respectively

Posted in That's Life | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

March Madness

March

COMING THIS MONTH

  • Ya gotta wait! – March 6, 2014
  • Cordelia’s Mom gets sick – March 13, 2014
  • Cordelia’s Mom fights back – March 20, 2014
  • The whole truth? – March 27, 2014

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Cordelia’s Mom reserves the right to modify the above schedule, or to insert additional posts.  Be sure to sign up for email notification so you don’t miss any extra posts.

And don’t forget CORDELIA’S MOM’S WORDS OF PSEUDO-WISDOM – and puppy post updates- which can only be found on my Facebook page.

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I love to hear from my readers.  You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook page, or email me at:  cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com

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Image by:  Hoa Dang/+Angst

Posted in Previews, That's Life | Tagged , | Leave a comment

Ya Know What I’m Sayin’?

MrsDoubtfireI really hate that phrase, but it’s appropriate for today’s post.

Recently, a friend referred to me to a UTube video by Wikkidprawn, which video turns the comedy Mrs. Doubtfire into a trailer for the horror flick Mrs. Doubtfire, and does a brilliant job of it.  If you haven’t seen it, take time to do so – you will love it.

What’s next – evil Peter Cottontail?

Granted, Robin Williams is an exceptional actor who can easily portray both a matronly old woman AND a malicious murderous stalker dressed up as a matronly old woman, and that’s the main reason the video is so good.  But, it took the videographer’s own talents to change the perspective of the original hilarious movie into something evil and frightening.

The video made me think about individual perceptions of what we see, read, hear and say.

So many times, I have read posts by other bloggers that I felt were boring, stale, etc., only to discover the post had been viewed by something like 5,000 people with something like 900 comments.  Other times, I have read posts that tugged my heartstrings or made me laugh out loud, only to find myself being the only liker [is that even a word?] or commenter on that post.

What’s up with that?  Am I totally out of touch?

So many times, I, myself, have published a post that I thought was the best thing since sliced bread and worthy of top billing on the Freshly Pressed page, only to receive little or no discernible traffic.  Other times, I have posted something I felt was nothing but silly fluff (Cotton Balls.  Really?), and that type of moronic post received double or triple my usual traffic.

I really don’t think my writing differs that much from post to post.  Sure, the subject matters vary widely, but my writing style is pretty much even.  So, the excitement over some posts as opposed to others has to be because of the way my readers are perceiving those posts.

confusedHow often has that happened to you?  Have you poured your heart and soul into a post that then went somewhere into the Twilight Zone, never to be read again?  Have you published a spur-of-the-moment piece of crap which then went nearly viral?

How about sharing your stories on misinterpreted posts – I’d love to hear about other bloggers’ experiences in this regard.

When commenting, feel free to include the link to the post you’re referencing – more traffic for both of us!

(I will be checking those links, so all you spammers out there need not bother with my blog.  I don’t need “readership” that badly.)

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I love to hear from my readers.  You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook page, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com

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Images by:  Juanita Laguna, and Guundmorning!, respectively.

Posted in That's Life | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments