I was seduced by an expert.
Knowing there had been a long period of abstinence, the devil started ever so slowly. Just a little wink, a tiny whiff of that intoxicating scent, an alluring whisper. Rumors that others had enjoyed the devil’s offerings and craved more. Rumors that succumbing would result in overall stimulation, flushed cheeks, heightened awareness, tingling in the tummy.
Sometimes the devil offered chocolate or cinnamon, to spice things up. There were hints that whipped cream might be available in the future.
It became harder and harder to resist. Because – chocolate and whipped cream? Tingling?
Yes, I fell for the devil, and I fell hard.
I used to be a “black coffee, no cream, no sugar” kind of gal. At home, I would only use a percolator. No Mr. Coffee for me – I like my brew strong! But, I developed ulcerative colitis, and coffee became a thing of the past.
Then, the Powers That Be installed a Keurig coffee maker in our office kitchen.
SO MANY CHOICES!
Now, every day I would enter the kitchen door and be confronted by that Keurig machine, with its multitude of individually portioned drinks in every flavor imaginable. Every day, I would be accosted by people walking around with heavenly scented cups of coffee, tea, and other hot beverages.
I started with just one (I swear) cup of plain Folgers coffee. After such abstinence, it tasted soooo good. Having been on my Remicade therapy for more than a year, I found I could drink a cup of coffee occasionally with no deleterious effect. The “occasional” cup became a daily cup – sometimes even two cups a day. Still plain, no cream, no sugar – but had I been paying attention, I might have noticed the seducer’s ploy.
Seducers are patient – time is their friend. Addictions develop slowly.
One day, as I filling the water reservoir in the Keurig machine, I glanced over and started reading the various flavors of coffee, tea, etc. available. It was cold outside. I had been running late and snarfed down my half bagel with cream cheese. There, right on the shelf, were Dunkin Donuts Original Blend and Cinnabon Classic Cinnamon Roll K-cups. Donuts? Cinnamon roll? I’m so in! During the day, I had one of each.
The next day, I noticed the Kahlua coffee. Ok, so maybe it doesn’t really have kahlua in it, but we can all pretend, can’t we? Especially after a whole morning and half an afternoon of dealing with ever more demanding clients? Can we also order the Timothy’s Irish Cream K-cups? Please?
From there, it was a predictably slippery slope.
While I never (well, almost never) found myself adding cream or sugar, each day I would treat myself to one or two cups of Keurig coffee. I experimented with different flavors – Green Mountain Wild Blueberry, Green Mountain Pumpkin Spice, Dunkin Donuts Chocolate Glazed Donut. The variety seemed endless.
I occasionally offset the soft addiction with somewhat healthier choices – Celestial Seasonings Mandarin Orange Spice tea or Green Mountain Hot Apple Cider. But the devil continued to entice.
The seduction was not just a one-night stand. It became an obsession.
Are the sleepless nights worth it? Will the affair eventually become boring and simply end? I don’t know, nor do I care. For the time being, I’m simply enjoying the excitement brought into an otherwise routine existence.
Like many before me, I will continue to enjoy the depravity. Like many before me, I may simply walk on the dark side until God Himself calls me home.
My final words may well be,
“Just one more cup, ok?”
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I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com
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Images by Cordelia’s Mom
Cordelia's Mom, Still 
This post is AMAZING. While I myself don’t get all warm and fuzzy about Keurig, nearly everyone I know does. I only use the hot water to make tea, lol. To be honest, I thought i was going to hate the post because from the title, I thought it was about infidelity. After being cheated on in my previous marriage, that is a very sore spot. When I realized it was an affair with those coffee singles, I couldn’t have approved more. 😀
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Ha! I meant the intro to be misleading. I didn’t figure anyone would read it if the title was, “I Love Coffee.” Glad you enjoyed the post.
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Good point!
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Awesome! I got a Keurig for the break room and the waiting room at the clinic. Soon I was spending $300/mo on K-cups. It had to go…. 😉
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I’ve heard stories of patients slipping a K-cup or two into their purses at the doctor’s offices. At my office, I think the Keurig was meant to replace the 10-year delay in raises and a current year with no bonus. It’s a pretty poor substitute.
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It is a poor substitute. We got rid of the machine in the waiting room because it kept getting destroyed. Patients were not using it correctly despite instructions posted everywhere. There was no question when I reviewed the order history that someone on the staff was taking cups home by the case…
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Interesting – they took K-cups, but not some of the pharmacy samples? Just goes to show – coffee is, in fact, an addictive drug.
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We haven’t jumped on the trend, CM. In my husband’s words…I like coffee-flavored coffee. ☺
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They do have regular coffee, too, the advantage being that you can make just the one cup. To be honest, though, it’s a lot weaker than what you would make in a Mr. Coffee or a percolator. The Keurig is just a fun way to have all different flavors, depending on your whim on a particular day.
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Ohhh look at all of those choices. Heaven. We use a Keurig at home but keep our selection at 2 boxes at a time haha. It can get out of hand a bit fast!
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Those K-cups are expensive! If I had a Keurig at home, I would probably only buy one kind, two at the most. At the office, everyone wants a different flavor, and the person ordering the coffee tries to please everyone. So far, management hasn’t put a stop to that.
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I wonder how long that will last lol. K-cups add up fast!
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They are, but since we didn’t get bonuses this year, management apparently is providing the coffee instead. Not a great substitute, but I’ll take what I can get.
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Reblogged this on Sutter Press and commented:
That’s what she said … but it’s not what you think.
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Ah, Food, such a temptress. Loved this post.
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Yep. I don’t know why that is, but it is.
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Fun post!
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It was fun to write, too. And then, of course, there was the research …
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🙂
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Food and flavors do tend to drag us in slowly. I purposely avoid the flavored coffees, and the hot chocolate, even though we now keep a can or Redi-Whip in the office fridge. It’s a good thing we don’t have beer on tap.
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We have various flavored creamers to go with the coffee, but thus far, no one has thought to bring in whipped cream. Good thing ’cause I’d probably laugh my ass off whenever I saw it in the office fridge.
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I gave up drugs. Cigarettes. Loud music. Overeating.
But I won’t give up coffee. It’s the only thing I’ve got left to which someone could reasonably object. I need that in my life … and that smell of brewing coffee in the morning.
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I probably went 2 years without coffee. I did miss it. It’s not so much the caffeine – I just like the aroma and the taste. Nothing else goes better with a nice piece of pie or cake. Or ice cream – I love a nice cold bowl of ice cream along with a nice hot cup of coffee.
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I don’t know how I would cope not being able to drink my coffee every day. It is the only thing that keeps me out of prison and some people remain alive.
Ulcerative Colitis is nasty. My mother had it many years ago.
Also, you came out of the hat in the draw for the Photo of the Year print. Would you be able to email me your address, and I will post it to you 🙂
mondrak@gmail.com
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I could have sworn I responded to this, but it didn’t show up here today. (Gee, sounds like a spammer, doesn’t it?)
The email has been sent. I can’t believe that I actually won something! That never happens.
As for coffee, I am totally with you. If the government ever banned coffee, this country would turn into the wild, wild west again.
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Just looked through my emails, and it hasn’t come through. Have checked in case I binned it by accident, and I hadn’t and not gone into the spam either. Very odd.
Could you email it again please thank you 🙂
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I’ll send it again. It may come in as from someone other than Cordelia’s Mom (it may show my real name), so I’ll use the subject line “Photo of the Year for Cordelia’s Mom”
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Gotcha 🙂 Yes it showed your real name, but don’t worry, I know a lot of bloggers real names and don’t use them
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Thanks, Al.
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Excellent writing, CM! You rock!
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Amy – I can’t tell you how good that comment makes me feel! I think quite a few people read the first sentence or two or thought it was about infidelity, and then didn’t read any further. I’m very happy that you read it all the way through.
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Of course I did! And even if it was on infidelity, I still would have read it because I know you would have put a spin on it. Keep up the great writing! I really am proud of you!! ❤
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