A Word to the Not-So-Wise

 

SeeNoEvilI’ve been so busy with the new puppy that I simply haven’t had the time to respond to all the wonderful comments on my posts.

But today, I was feeling a little down, seeing as WordPress indicated that I had absolutely no views on any of my posts.  Well, that can’t possibly be true, so onto my dashboard I went.  And guess what?  There were numerous comments on various posts which I had not seen before (the comments, that is, not the posts – thank you, grammar police).

Well, obviously someone is reading, right? — and I’d like to respond to a few of those comments if I may.   After all, spammers are people, too.  (And apologies to the appropriate commenter if any of these weren’t, in fact, spam.)

***

Comment:

“What i do not realize is in fact how you’re no longer actually much more smartly-appreciated than you may be right now. You’re so intelligent. You understand thus considerably when it comes to this matter, made me personally believe it from numerous varied angles. Its like women and men aren’t fascinated until it’s one thing to accomplish with Woman gaga! Your own stuffs excellent.

All the time maintain it up!”

Response:

I am so honored to be so “smartly-appreciated” by someone with your intellectual superiority, and am humbled that you feel my “own stuffs excellent.” Definitely, I will all the time maintain it up!

***

Comment:

HTML Code“Hi this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors or if you have to manually code with HTML. I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding experience so I wanted to get advice from someone with experience. Any help would be greatly appreciated!”

Response:

I have no coding experience, either.  I just write the damn words and let WordPress take care of everything else.  But I’m so glad you feel that even as a relatively new blogger, I am “someone with experience.”  Sorry I can’t give you more help in this regard.

***

Comment:

“Its not my first time to go to see this web page, i am browsing this website dailly and get nice information from here all the time.”

Response:

If you’re browsing this website daily [I won’t even comment on your spelling abilities], then why is WordPress telling me no one is visiting?  Are you invisible?  In hiding?  A spy?  The U.S. Government?

***

Comment:

YahooNews“Sweet blog! I found it while browsing on Yahoo News. Do you have any suggestions on how to get listed in Yahoo News?

I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Thanks”

Response:

I’ve never gotten there, either, as far as I know. [If you really did see me on Yahoo News, kindly tell me where, so I can send the link to absolutely everyone I’ve ever met or talked to.] But thanks for giving me something to strive for – perhaps the next time someone cuts me off in traffic, I will do something worthy of Yahoo News.

***

Comment:

“Duh,I even don’t have a girlfriend!”

Response:

I’m very sorry to hear that, but I don’t know what you want me to do about it.

***

Comment:

“You are so awesome! I don’t think I have read something like this before. So wonderful to find someone with original thoughts on this issue. Really.. thank you for starting this up. This website is something that is required on the web, someone with a little originality!”

Response:

No, you’re the one who’s awesome.  I actually thought this was a legitimate comment until I checked the link back to your website.  You are good!  (But not quite good enough.)

***

GoldenDollar

Comment:

“We have made the decision to open our POWERFUL and PRIVATE website traffic system to the public for just a few days! You can sign up for our UP SCALE network with a free trial as we get started with the public’s orders. Imagine how your bank account will look when your website gets the traffic it needs. Visit us today:”

Response:

I am, in fact, imagining my bank account, and how it will look after you get through with it. I think I’ll pass, thank you very much.

***

Comment:

It’s a pity yߋu don’t havfe а donate button! Ӏ’d witҺoսt a dopubt donate to this outstanding blog!”

Response:

I’ll send you an email with my PayPal information.

***

These were only a few of the comments that came in, within just a few days! And my Askimet stats grow dailly [oops, catchy, isn’t it?].

Am I good or what?!

__________

I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook page, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com

__________

Images by:  Alison Curtis, and Sebastian Fuss, and Douglas Porter, and Benjamin Sperandio, respectively.

This entry was posted in Maintain It Up, Spam-Bam, That's Life and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to A Word to the Not-So-Wise

  1. I fell out at “woman Gaga”! Really? Nice try, Bot….I find that these, and the search strings, can be highly entertaining time sucks. 😉 Also, I popped back over to the original puppy link, and can I just say, “Awwwwwwwwwwwwww!”? I’m reading you…I am…;) Maybe not *ahem* dailly, but I do eventually catch up. 😉

    Like

  2. Me too, mee toooo! I read your posts and not just my guest posts. Ha ha! I love those comments that say, “you have provided very useful information on this topic…” really? I didn’t know there was a lot of information about what pandas on news shows say. Good answers. Maybe you told me, or maybe I read it somewhere else, that posts that go out by email (like to our subscribers,)don’t show up in the stats.

    Like

    • You’re right. If you read only the email, it doesn’t register as a view unless you actually click through to the actual blog site. Also true if you read the post from the WordPress Reader without clicking onto the actual post. I’ve learned to assume that there are way more readers than WordPress says there are – if nothing else, it keeps me from becoming overly depressed.

      Like

  3. Paul says:

    You know what it is? Your relationship with Cordelia makes you famous by association. It draws all the nuts – kinda like Elvis’ hairdresser would be if blogging existed then. Ha! I don’t have my own blog and didn’t realize so many nuts reply. May the force be with you!

    Like

    • Actually, I get plenty of nuts on my own without Cordelia’s magnetism. But in a perverse way, I enjoy getting spam – at least it means my blog hasn’t disappeared into the Twilight Zone, which is one of my greatest fears.

      Like

  4. LOL…I really laughed all the way through this. What a brilliant post, CMS! (Cordelia’s Mom Still). Now I need to look at my spam filtering and see what I’ve missed. This was priceless. I think you just earned a re-blog

    Like

  5. Also, I think I need to get a T-shirt with “Maintain it up!” on it. I love that!

    Like

    • Thanks for both comments, Oliver, and for the re-blog. As I commented on your post, I think we could start a “Maintain It Up!” blogger award, but I shudder to think what image people might come up with for that. Although, the T-shirt idea could be a money-maker – maybe coffee mugs could be done, too.

      Like

  6. Reblogged this on Chronicle of a Wayward Son and commented:
    I love this woman’s blog. She cracks me up. I think the title could have easily been “Fun with spam”. I am going to try to work “maintain it up” into my vocabulary until it becomes part of the vernacular.

    Like

  7. Pingback: CookieCakes Has Lost It | Not Cordelia's Mom

  8. Reblogged this on Cordelia's Mom, Still and commented:

    Askimet has blocked over 72,000 spam comments to my blog so far. Maybe I should let them through so that I could create more Snarks ‘R Us posts like this one. Spam-Bam was a great series, wasn’t it, and I managed to keep it going for almost two years – but it seems that these days even the spammers have forsaken me. Oh well. Re-blogs are better than no blogs, right?

    Like

  9. These are classics. I’ll have to pay more attention to my spam. Might be gold in there. 💗

    Like

  10. joey says:

    Haha! Fantastic collection! The generic praise, ugh. I’d rather have no praise than insincere spam praise, thanks.

    Like

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