Cordelia's Mom, Still

Walking on Eggshells

Posted on September 26, 2013 by cordeliasmom2012

Writing a blog is fun, at least for me – but sometimes it can be treacherous.

My last post definitely ticked off my middle daughter. She objected to being cast as a partyer while in college.

(Helloooooo, Sweetie, I remember that 2:00 am call that resulted in Dad and me jumping into the car and hitting the Thruway ASAP!)

Of course, like most kids, once out of college, my daughter became pretty much a model citizen. She has a good job and pays her bills (including those horrendous student loans). In fact, she’s currently working two jobs to pay those bills, God bless her. She also has some serious artistic ability, and her sisters and I are encouraging her to market her artwork.

Be that as it may, that little interaction with my kid got me to thinking about other posts I have written and will be writing.

So far, none of my readers have complained about any of my posts , but of course, so far none of my posts have been particularly antagonistic.

Be forewarned – that may change in the future. I have a couple of posts in the queue that may well upset or annoy certain readers.

Maybe I should apologize in advance, but I won’t. This is my blog, after all. While I will never, ever post someone’s actual name or any other identifying information without permission (except for public figures, of course), some of the people I’ve met have been just too unique not to feature them.

An example:

I once worked at a law firm with a really dumb receptionist. Whenever the phone wasn’t ringing, this young lady would just sit at her desk, staring at the ceiling lights (no, the lights weren’t flickering or anything like that, and they were definitely all the same bland color).

One day, I had a client who needed an answer which I hadn’t yet determined. Rather than tell the client I just didn’t know yet, I asked the receptionist to field my calls. I told her that if “Mr. S” called, to please tell him I was currently unavailable and would call back shortly, and then to just transfer him into my voicemail. Mr. S was a very nice man, and I simply didn’t want to cause him unnecessary concern.

Later that morning, I was walking past the receptionist’s desk and overheard her side of this phone conversation:

RECEPTIONIST TO CALLER: Listen, I already told you she doesn’t want to talk to you! Just leave a message in her voicemail!

Yup, it was Mr. S calling for me. So, even though I still didn’t have the information Mr. S was waiting for, I had to call him IMMEDIATELY and explain that the receptionist was misinformed. I told him honestly that I was still waiting for a call from someone else with the information he wanted, and that I had intended to call him thereafter, which would have been within the next couple of hours anyway.

As I said, Mr. S was a very nice man and also very understanding. Apparently, he had office staff with the same brain power as our receptionist.

Another example:

I recently called another law firm to set up a real estate closing. Apparently, their staff aren’t Rhodes Scholars, either. Whoever it was that answered the phone simply told me, “I can’t talk to you right now – I’m too busy working on pleadings.”

(Instead, how ‘bout “I’m in the middle of something, may I call you back in a little while?” ??!!)

I doubt that I’m stepping on any toes with the above two examples – I’m sure in their free time, these two women are too busy polishing their toenails and watching soap operas to pay any attention to my blog, assuming they can even read. (Meow)

(Warned you, didn’t I?)

Hate mail can be sent to cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com .

Bring it on!

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I love to hear from all of my readers – contact me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com

_________________________

Images by Phu Thinh Co, and Nixter, and Gallivanting Gal, respectively

Posted in Relationships, That's Life | Tagged annoying people, blogging, work | 8 Comments

Road Trips – Part II (Off to See the Future)

Posted on September 19, 2013 by cordeliasmom2012

Click to enlarge photo

In approximately 11^th grade, your child will begin thinking about which college he or she would like to attend. In most cases, the college he or she really wants will be as FAR AWAY FROM MOM AND DAD AS POSSIBLE.

In our case, in order to get New York State funding, our children pretty much had to attend college in New York State, which at least made the pre-college tours manageable.

Oldest Child (Cordelia)

Cordelia was easy. She was awarded a very substantial scholarship to a great college right in our own hometown, and we only had to drop her off for a weekend there so she could have a mini-dorm experience. That was bad enough – the school was IN THE CITY, and we are SUBURBANITES. But she survived.

Middle Child

Our experience with Cordelia made it somewhat easier when the next kid began considering schools. So we took a weekend trip to view some of her choices.

I loved SUNY-Geneseo – great little campus away from everything (literally), the students I saw all appeared to take their studies seriously, and it was the only school we looked at that required an essay from the parents as to why their child should be invited to attend. It seemed to be a parent’s dream college. All I heard from my kid when we left there was, “There’s nothing to do there” (read, “no party places.”)

From there, we drove to SUNY-Albany. At that time, SUNY-Albany (I believe) was rated in a survey of college students as one of “the party schools” in the country. The dorms were situated in two very high towers (can you say 9/11?), and even the “model” dorm room we were shown totally sucked. Thank God, my kid didn’t like that school any more than we did.

So, did she choose either of those schools we had visited? Of course not – she chose another college, which just happened to be in a town with lots of partying possibilities.

(Good thing, Mom and Dad were only 3 hours away – far enough that we didn’t know what really went on there, but close enough to handle The Emergency Call [after a night of partying, of course]).

Admittedly, the college she chose did have excellent programs, which led to a four-year degree and a decent job right out of school, so in hindsight it wasn’t the worst possible choice.

Youngest Child – Are We Done Yet?

But the most memorable pre-college trip was with my youngest daughter. This was a child who had never been away from home and never indicated that she wanted to be far from the fold. So, when she kept insisting on colleges at the other end of the state, I finally told Dad, “Ok, I’ll take her. Once she sees how far from home it is, she’ll change her mind.”

We based ourselves in Poughkeepsie and drove from there to the various schools we were interested in. Cordelia went with us.

We all loved Vassar College – charming little college town, historic old buildings. And a gateway guard with a true sense of humor. I asked where we should park, and he said “right over there.” “Right over there” required parallel parking, which I’ve never been good at. By the time I maneuvered into the spot, we had quite a crowd gathered, all of whom were trying not to laugh. It was only after our tour that I found out there was an actual parking lot just past the building in front of which I had parallel parked!

Unfortunately, Vassar also has a humungous tuition cost – way out of our league. But I did buy a really nice coffee mug.

Our next visit was to SUNY-Purchase. Now, I had been there 20 years or so before when my husband had a job interview in the area. At that time, I was quite impressed with the fairly new campus out in farmland and the areas where construction was obviously about to start. 20 years later, I was quite impressed that the “about to start” construction apparently never did start and the campus had not changed a bit, except to become pretty run-down.

Although the school is known for an excellent music program, after tripping over a few broken pavement stones, my daughter decided she was not interested.

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(Note: Our visit to SUNY Purchase was in 2007 – according to the link, above, construction was done in 2013.)

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On to the next stop – Sarah Lawrence College. We only went there because Cordelia and I had both wanted to attend for its writing program and wanted to see what the campus was like (and to dream). Loved the school, hated the traffic.

After our tour, our route back to Poughkeepsie required that we merge onto a busy parkway and then immediately get into the far left lane to merge onto a busy expressway to take us back to our hotel. Sounded easy enough when I Mapquested it.

But we hit rush hour.

When we got to the approach to the parkway, I realized traffic in the far left lane was backed up for miles in the other direction, and I had to be able to get in and merge to the left immediately. Couldn’t get to the end of the line without going the wrong way for miles.

That old Toyota Camry commercial ran through my head (“Punch it, Margaret!”). I said to myself: I can do this!

Got onto the parkway with no problem (not much traffic in the first 2 lanes – everyone was in that far left lane). Merging became an issue. I kept pace with traffic, with my left signal blinking – surely someone would let me in (See the Buffalo, NY plates, everyone? Obviously, I’m not used to this road.)

There appeared to be a break behind a lady driving an SUV. I attempted to merge – she slowed down to block me. Now there was a space in front of her. I speeded up – she speeded up to block me. I would have thought she was just not paying attention, were it not for the smirk on her face as she clearly looked over at my smaller vehicle.

The on ramp to the expressway was coming up fast. Either I got into that far left lane, or we were heading towards New York City! I could see the sign ahead on the right announcing the approach to the Tappan Zee Bridge (“I would turn back if I were you!”). Ok, maybe that last was just my panicked brain talking, but I sure didn’t want to find out what was on the far side of the Tappan Zee, at least not today.

The crosshairs for the split appeared, and I was still trying to merge. The lady in the SUV was still playing games. I screamed, “God damn it, LET ME IN!” She laughed and continued to keep pace.

Finally, at the very last possible moment, the driver of the old beater car behind the SUV took pity on me and let me in. Whew!

For those of you who are now sure that Cordelia’s Mom is a lunatic (I know my kids thought so at the time), had I not been able to merge, I would, in fact, l have simply driven across the bridge and then merely turned around and headed back, hopefully with an easier merge in the other direction. (And hopefully not being pursued by flying monkeys.)

So, did this child attend any of the schools we had looked at? Of course not. She got the same scholarship to the same school in our hometown that Cordelia had attended. Funny how funding can make the college decision so much easier!

And – We’re Done!

No one ever said that raising kids would be easy. But it certainly is an experience! And I definitely am glad that I am on the far side of that experience.

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I love to hear from my readers – contact me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com

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Images by MPD01605 and Paul Farla, respectively

Posted in Road Trips & Cars, That's Life | Tagged college tours, driving, flying monkeys, high school, road trips | 8 Comments

Shhhh..it’s a Secret

Posted on September 13, 2013 by cordeliasmom2012

Just a quick little note with a hint for those who read yesterday’s post (Road Trips Part I) and are eagerly waiting with bated breath:

Next week’s post (Road Trips Part II, scheduled for Thursday September 19) will feature FLYING MONKEYS.

Stay tuned!

And while you’re waiting, if you haven’t already done so, please peruse my About and Legal-Schmegal pages.

I love my readers, and I love to receive email: cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com

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Image by: Paul Farla

Posted in Previews, That's Life | Tagged driving, flying monkeys, hints, road trips | 2 Comments

Road Trips – Part I (Education or Bust!)

Posted on September 12, 2013 by cordeliasmom2012

This post will appeal to people who are raising children or have raised children, people who work with children and young adults, and people whose parents embarrassed or annoyed them at some point. Those readers who do not fit into any of those categories can go on to the dating sites and career blogs.

(Really? Your parents never, ever embarrassed or annoyed you? Then, definitely go onto the dating sites – you possess a quantity of patience and understanding that is extremely rare!)

Since I had to work while my kids were little, I had few opportunities to go on field trips like some of the other moms. However, the ones I did go on were memorable.

The Toxic Field Trip

One of Cordelia’s science teachers came up with the bright idea of showing the children what happens to waste after it is picked up at homes and businesses. I was ok with the proposal to visit the recycling plant, but had issues with the idea of taking young adults to the toxic dump site near the former Love Canal site.

At the informational meeting at the school, I voiced my concerns, only to be shot down by other parents, who accused me of being overly protective. At which point, I decided:

Well, by golly, if my kid is going to be exposed to toxic waste, so am I – I am going on that field trip!

(How this was supposed to protect her, I don’t know. My thought process never got that far that day.)

The trip started at the recycling facility. It was a very benign start. The employees at the facility demonstrated how cans, bottles and papers were sorted etc. Meanwhile, the girls were crying “oooooo, yuck” while the majority of boys in the group ran around looking for rats, snakes and other vermin.

Snacks were offered in the facility’s employee break room. All I remember is telling Cordelia to be sure to wash her hands thoroughly in the rest room and DON’T EAT ANYTHING.

Eventually, the buses loaded up for the trip to the toxic dump site. At the entrance, our bus sat idling while employees dealt with a rogue trucker trying to drop off his load – his truck was leaking some kind of neon-greenish fluid from under the back doors. The guard at the gate screamed at the trucker to get his vehicle off the premises, at the same time glancing over at our school bus filled with eager young faces at all the windows. And at least one mom whose face was approximately the same greenish color as the dripping fluid.

I don’t remember a whole lot more about that trip, other than that the rogue trucker left the premises, and we were thereafter treated to videos of various kinds of sludges and slurries being handled at the facility.

There was an upside later on, however. I wound up taking a job in a law firm where the major case was an environmental remediation dispute for work done on the Niagara River. I was amazed that I actually understood what the engineers were saying in their depositions about dredging, sludges and slurries!

Sometimes It IS Rocket Science

My youngest daughter was going on a field trip to the Toronto Science Museum with her middle school class. That sounded like great fun, so I (silly me) volunteered to go along as a chaperone.

I was assigned the largest group of children – fortunately all girls (supposedly easier to handle), and the teacher assured me that yes, while this was the largest group, not to worry as these were his very best, most responsible students.

On the way to Toronto on the bus, the other moms chitchatted, while I gazed out the window dreaming of how wonderful it would be once we got there. I visualized myself, Mother-Superior-like, leading my group of girls through the museum and enchanting them with my great wisdom at each exhibit.

I’m sure you can see where this is going.

The bus got to the science museum and within 5 minutes I had lost two of my students. These young ladies simply had no idea that it was not ok to run off to the ladies’ room without telling ANYONE where they were going. It was Science Class Field Day at a number of schools, and there were hundreds of kids milling around.

Got them back and proceeded on our tour. Still thought I was Mother Superior. I had even worn the brightest outfit I owned so that if my group became separated, the students would be able to spot me easily.

Not to worry. My students had ideas of their own, which did not include following Mother Superior in an orderly, duck-and-ducklings type line.

After losing nearly all of my group in the first few exhibits, I simply grabbed my own kid and proceeded to guide HER through the exhibits. I figured everyone else would eventually catch up – how far could they really go anyway?

By the time we got to the tropical rainforest exhibit, my group had miraculously reconvened, but I was a total wreck. We ran into the teacher, who took one look at my face and assured me, again, that these were his very best students, and I would have no problems with them. (Sure, where was he during all the foregoing exhibits?)

At the end of the day, I did take some comfort from one of the other moms, who was apparently even more inexperienced at field trips than I was. We found her sitting on the curb next to the bus, smoking a cigarette – no students anywhere near her. She stated that she had given up after about half an hour and spent the rest of the time outside without her group – she figured they’d find their way to the bus eventually.

A part of me wanted to blast that chaperone for her inattentiveness, but another part of me had some sympathy for her. I remember feeling somewhat guilty at one point during the day, when everyone except my own kid disappeared into one of the exhibits.

Needless to say, my youngest daughter FORBID me from ever going on another field trip with her. Not that I ever would have wanted to, anyway.

NEXT UP: Part II – College Tours. Please stay tuned for next post.

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I love to hear from my readers – contact me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com

__________________

Images by: pennstatenews, ramsey stirling, AlkoBy, and chrislee-cm, respectively