I Will Not Wish You A Merry Christmas

A Cup

I do not want you to have a Happy Holiday.

I do not wish you health, joy or peace during the holiday season.

The New Year can be Happy or not – it’s totally up to you, and I’m staying out of it.

If you’re Jewish, I will say nothing at all, because I looked up “Jewish holiday greetings” and there’s no way I could pronounce most of those words.

I don’t know what Kwanzaa is, really, nor do I know the proper greeting, so you’re safe on that one.

If you’re an atheist, I will simply say “Hello.”

As for everyone else, since I don’t know what holiday you may or may not be celebrating, just go forth and celebrate in whatever way you wish.


Thanksgiving is not likely to be good for turkeys, so I will not insult them by wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving.  Nor will I be dressing up as a Pilgrim, Native American, turkey,  ham, ear of corn, or big plate of stuffing.

Birthdays are just days – some are Happy, some are not.

If you’re offended by this post, it’s your problem.  I tried my best to non-greet every group I could think of.  Relax, and have a cookie.


I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com


Image by Cordelia’s Mom


This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Relationships, That's Life and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

48 Responses to I Will Not Wish You A Merry Christmas

  1. Charles says:

    We have kinda lost our minds haven’t we? Good post! Made me laugh!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Barry says:

    One of the things that really irritated me when I visited America was everyone telling me to “have a nice day”. Sometimes it sounded like an order. I’d prefer to decide myself whether or not to have a nice day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nurse Kelly says:

    … or a cupcake, right?! This was hilarious – I loved it! And whatever you do, don’t drink out of a red Starbucks cup… heard they’re quite controversial this year! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You left out Druids. Monster!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    I always say Merry Christmas. Last time I checked, in the United States I am protected by the First Amendment, which gives me freedom of speech. If someone doesn’t like that, they have the freedom to walk away.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. MmrliRuddy says:

    I am offended by you not trying to offend anyone. Your lack off offense has me feeling offended!!! LOL Also, you left out Festivus… It’s for the rest of us


  7. Karen J says:

    LoL, CM!
    I keep it simple (for me) – “Happy Winter Holidays of your choice” ** and “Have a good day (whatever that looks like to you)”! Like you said, if anyone chooses to feel offended, it’s *their* problem, and not my responsibility!
    ** Good all the way from mid-November to mid-January, too ~ Bonus!


  8. joey says:

    My birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year, and I’ve no doubt I will be grateful for both, but I don’t think “Happy” is gonna work for me!
    I’m not a religious person, but I sure do wish people what they wish me.
    “Merry Christmas!”
    “You too!”
    “Happy Hanukkah!”
    “You too!”
    Good manners, yeah? Now I suppose if someone wishes me a crappy day, I could always smile and shout back, “You too!”
    I like how your cup is translucent and therefore holds no hidden agenda 😉


  9. I think you are totally missing the point because I want to see you dressed as a big plate of stuffing. That could be the high point of my holiday season.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Anonymous says:

    Blergh. Now I have to make or buy cookies. I do not wish you Happy Cookie Thursday CM. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Thumbup says:

    You made the turkey’s day!


  12. lbeth1950 says:

    Thanks for cookie.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Perfect. And I’m loving the special cup !!! ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I don’t wish you a merry Christmas either, then. =(

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: CORDELIA’S MOM’S CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER (’cause we all love newsletters so much) | Cordelia's Mom, Still

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