I Will Not Wish You A Merry Christmas

A Cup

I do not want you to have a Happy Holiday.

I do not wish you health, joy or peace during the holiday season.

The New Year can be Happy or not – it’s totally up to you, and I’m staying out of it.

If you’re Jewish, I will say nothing at all, because I looked up “Jewish holiday greetings” and there’s no way I could pronounce most of those words.

I don’t know what Kwanzaa is, really, nor do I know the proper greeting, so you’re safe on that one.

If you’re an atheist, I will simply say “Hello.”

As for everyone else, since I don’t know what holiday you may or may not be celebrating, just go forth and celebrate in whatever way you wish.

AND NOW THAT ALL OF THAT’S BEEN COVERED

Thanksgiving is not likely to be good for turkeys, so I will not insult them by wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving.  Nor will I be dressing up as a Pilgrim, Native American, turkey,  ham, ear of corn, or big plate of stuffing.

Birthdays are just days – some are Happy, some are not.

If you’re offended by this post, it’s your problem.  I tried my best to non-greet every group I could think of.  Relax, and have a cookie.

__________

I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com

__________

Image by Cordelia’s Mom

 

This entry was posted in Holidays, Humor, Relationships, That's Life and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

48 Responses to I Will Not Wish You A Merry Christmas

  1. Charles says:

    We have kinda lost our minds haven’t we? Good post! Made me laugh!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Barry says:

    One of the things that really irritated me when I visited America was everyone telling me to “have a nice day”. Sometimes it sounded like an order. I’d prefer to decide myself whether or not to have a nice day 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Nurse Kelly says:

    … or a cupcake, right?! This was hilarious – I loved it! And whatever you do, don’t drink out of a red Starbucks cup… heard they’re quite controversial this year! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You left out Druids. Monster!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Just Plain Ol' Vic says:

    I always say Merry Christmas. Last time I checked, in the United States I am protected by the First Amendment, which gives me freedom of speech. If someone doesn’t like that, they have the freedom to walk away.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. MmrliRuddy says:

    I am offended by you not trying to offend anyone. Your lack off offense has me feeling offended!!! LOL Also, you left out Festivus… It’s for the rest of us

    Like

  7. Karen J says:

    LoL, CM!
    I keep it simple (for me) – “Happy Winter Holidays of your choice” ** and “Have a good day (whatever that looks like to you)”! Like you said, if anyone chooses to feel offended, it’s *their* problem, and not my responsibility!
    ** Good all the way from mid-November to mid-January, too ~ Bonus!

    Like

  8. joey says:

    My birthday falls on Thanksgiving this year, and I’ve no doubt I will be grateful for both, but I don’t think “Happy” is gonna work for me!
    I’m not a religious person, but I sure do wish people what they wish me.
    “Merry Christmas!”
    “You too!”
    “Happy Hanukkah!”
    “You too!”
    Good manners, yeah? Now I suppose if someone wishes me a crappy day, I could always smile and shout back, “You too!”
    I like how your cup is translucent and therefore holds no hidden agenda 😉

    Like

  9. I think you are totally missing the point because I want to see you dressed as a big plate of stuffing. That could be the high point of my holiday season.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Anonymous says:

    Blergh. Now I have to make or buy cookies. I do not wish you Happy Cookie Thursday CM. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Thumbup says:

    You made the turkey’s day!

    Like

  12. lbeth1950 says:

    Thanks for cookie.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Perfect. And I’m loving the special cup !!! ☺

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I don’t wish you a merry Christmas either, then. =(
    ;))

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Pingback: CORDELIA’S MOM’S CHRISTMAS NEWSLETTER (’cause we all love newsletters so much) | Cordelia's Mom, Still

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