Defensive Driving with Wine


I bet if I speed up, I can get onto the expressway before that truck! Who cares that the on-ramp is only one lane wide?

The car insurance bill came in the mail.  I nearly had a heart attack – the premium was going up by $75 a month ($600 per year)?!  WTF?  I hadn’t received a ticket, hadn’t had an accident, hadn’t even been pulled over.  By calling my agent, I learned that my premium had gone up because my 3-year defensive driving course had lapsed.  If both my husband and I take a renewal course before June 15, we can drop the premium back to what it was.

The agent asked, did we prefer to take the course on-line or at a physical location?  Well, duh – if I take it on-line at home, I can get up and do other stuff while the state-regulated timer is counting down.  Heck, I’ve taken this course before, and it never changes.

So here I am on a beautiful spring weekend, renewing my defensive driving skills.

I was able to skip the first chapter because there were technical problems which required help from the on-line chat representative – nearly half an hour lost, so she credited me for the time.


Hey, it worked for Andy Warhol!

After the second chapter, it was time for lunch – that darn timer said I still had 15 minutes to spend on that chapter, so off I went to make some soup.  Which I ate while finishing the third chapter.

I had forgotten that it is a comedy course:

STOP means stop – of course, but not if you’re on a real city street with real city drivers.  And especially not if you’re on an especially bad section of town where stopping might get you shot. (Don’t worry about a ticket – cops won’t stop there, either.)

The law requires you to signal a turn or lane change – I still do that, but then I’m old enough to have been taught it.  For everyone else, it seems to be ok to make a right turn from the far left lane whenever you damn well please.

Chapter 4 – 30 minutes on speeding?  Heck, I already know how to speed.  Time to clean the bathroom.

Chapter 6 – 50 minutes?  Sheesh.  Come on, Cody, let’s go outside and play awhile.

Play time over.  Both pooped out.  Let’s take a nap.



[Much later]

Oops.  The Course!  Damn, now I’ll probably have to log back in.  Sigh.  Hope I don’t have to do on-line chat again! (Sounds a little naughty, doesn’t it? Whoever said defensive driving courses couldn’t be fun?)

Chapter 7 – adverse conditions.  Love those fog lights!

Winter driving tips – Remove now and ice from all vehicle windows, mirrors and lights prior to driving.

(Or you could just scrape off a 2-inch square directly in front of your face and just take your chances like other people do).

5:00 p.m.  Cody needs her walk before dinner.

Now dinner – still 2 more chapters to go.

Wine Bliss[Much later]

Chapter 9 – Driving Under the Influence.  Hmm, time for wine.

[A little later]

Chapter 10 – Final Chapter!  Yay!  Time for more wine!

Taking the on-line defensive driving course was not my favorite way to spend a Sunday, but it will save me $600 on my annual car insurance premium (assuming I can get hubby to take it, too).  Woo-hoo!


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Wine glass image by MovementSix; all others by Cordelia’s Mom

This entry was posted in Humor, Road Trips & Cars, That's Life and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

34 Responses to Defensive Driving with Wine

  1. Dan Antion says:

    The part about scrapping the little square is so true. I see so many people driving like that, particularly back windows. Ugh…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Interesting way of reducing your premium!


    • Necessary way of reducing the premium – a 3-hr course saves me $600 a year.

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s a good saving. There are some things that may reduce premiums here, one of the most arguable until a couple of years ago was cheaper insurance for women only drivers. I also had an added discount in the 70s for working in a bank.
        Hubby and I have never paid over £200 each for car insurance, so the figures we were quoted were a shock!


        • I find it amusing that your area has a discount for women drivers. I suspect here they would charge us much more than men, if they could, even though we all know women are better drivers.


          • Ha, I agree, but the EU said that men were at a disadvantage and so the gender of the policy holder could no longer affect premiums. Typical of the companies, rather than REDUCE any male customer’s premium to suit, they put the women’s up! Ho hum. I’m pleased with our policy though, cheaper than some 10 years ago as it turns out.

            Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m glad I don’t have to take that course. I don’t even drink wine. But I do whine. Does that count?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Elyse says:

    It really is the folks who DON’T need these courses who end up taking them.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mindy says:

    The making a right turn from the left lane was too perfect. I just had someone cut me off this morning to they could cut into the next lane and turn. I was so mad! I’m glad that you could make something so boring (driving course) and make it fun and entertaining!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Paul says:

    Ha! We have a mandatory boating safety course (if you’re licensed) that is on-line like that -it is a joke. Any driving safety courses here have to be taken in a class room. That is quite funny CM. You have a Vampire Bear visiting = perhaps Vlad could have done the course for you. Ha!


  7. kunstkitchen says:

    This post is totally a giggle for me. I started one of those online things and it was so blinking slow that I quit and promptly forgot about it. owell.


  8. Karen J says:

    Hah! Great post, CM! The only ‘safety course’ I ever had to take was in a classroom, and I got in an argument with the cop teaching it – about whether it’s safer to follow the speed limit or the speed of traffic (much higher than the limit!)


  9. Archon's Den says:

    $75/mo. X 12 mo. = $900</strong?/year. Even better.
    Time to take the online math course. Can I have some of the soup, please?
    Can't wait to hear about hubby. 😆


  10. LadyPinkRose says:

    Hnmmmmm ….. This is the first time I have heard about this online course. From what I do know, we don’t have to take the defensive driving course. I took driver’s ed as a kid. Does that count? I am going to look into this, because if we can save on our car insurance, that would be wonderful. I Love the part you said about how drivers scrape a little part of their windshield to see out. If that isn’t dangerous I don’t know what is, yet I too have seen it. Thank goodness my car is parked in our garage and I no longer have to scrape snow and ice off my windshield. That is, only when I first back out of the driveway and if it should be snowing that day and I am parked somewhere, yes, I brush snow off and scrape ice if need be from off all my windows. Great post, one I really enjoyed! Love, Amy ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glad you liked it. Definitely check with your insurance agent about getting that discount – your agent will tell you which course they prefer. In addition to the on-line course, there usually are a lot of courses at local facilities (like churches and such), if you’d prefer to take it in a classroom.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: Manly Defensive Driving | Cordelia's Mom, Still

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