(Joint Post by Anne Belov & Cordelia’s Mom)
*sigh* The little darlings have been at it again! But I can’t really punish Cody for re-contacting that evil Mehitabel – I can understand how frightening it must have been to find those papers. Poor puppy!
November 29, 2014
I think I’m in big trouble, and I don’t know who else to turn to. I know my Mom will be really mad if she finds out I’m on her computer again after what you and I did last time, but here’s what happened:
Mom and Dad have been home the last few days. I don’t know why, but there was lots of good food in the house – boy, do I love turkey! Anyway, yesterday they both were gone for a little while (I heard something about some kind of black shopping – maybe they’re getting me a brother or sister?).
Mom had been cleaning up some stuff upstairs, and she left a box of papers on her bed. No, I didn’t destroy them – what happened is much, much worse.
One of the papers was called a Last Will and Testament, and it listed all kinds of things that Mom was going to give to other people – like, Dad gets the house for some reason. Looked pretty cool to me, but I wasn’t in there anywhere! Couldn’t she at least give me some treats or a fluffly toy, or something?
So I went on the computer and looked up what Last Will and Testament means – and I found out that MOM IS GOING TO DIE!
I’m so scared, Boss Cat. If Mom dies, I’m not sure Dad would keep me. He’s always telling Mom, “Well, you wanted that damn dog.”
What’s going to happen to me? Could I maybe come live with you and the pandas?
Help me, Mehitabel. You’re the only friend I have.
Faithfully yours, Cody.
Have you learned nothing from me? You must destroy that document immediately, and write a replacement one that leaves everything to you. I think my mom has one, too, and I have been trying to find it to make sure I am adequately compensated for all the bother she puts me through. Honestly, it is so hard to get good help anymore.
Save the page that your mom signed, and insert the pages that leave everything to …um…wait a minute…you need a reliable “agent” to help you through this time…just add pages that leave everything to me, and I’ll make sure you are “taken care of.”
As to the black shopping thing, all I can say is, if a black cat shows up around here there is going to be big trouble. There is not enough kitty treats to go around and this couch isn’t big enough for two of us. I hate kittens. There better not be any kittens. Are you sure you want to share your toys with another dog? Just sayin’.
I hope your people went back to work today. It is not a good idea to let them hang around too much. They start getting “ideas” about what you should or shouldn’t be doing.
Let me know when you have corrected that Will thingie.
Mehitabel aka Boss Cat.
I knew I could count on you. I’ll find a way to change those pages right away. The Will has those little circular things holding the pages together, so that might be a problem, but I’ll figure it out.
But what do I do about Dad? I just know he’ll give me away as soon as Mom’s gone.
Gratefully yours, Cody.
P.S.: No, they didn’t bring me a puppy brother or kitty sister. I don’t know what they were doing out there on Black Shopping Day, but guess they were doing something for themselves instead of for me.
Hmmmm, there are definite disadvantages to not being a cat. Ha ha! Besides the obvious. My claws are perfect for dislodging those little wire thingies. If you take it off with your teeth, try not to swallow it.
I’m sure, that as a member of your sucking up species, you will manage to endear yourself to your dad. Besides, I’m guessing your mom is not planning on checking out any time soon. I think this is one of those things people do being “responsible” pffft! What’s THAT all about?
Meanwhile, I have bigger fish to fry, as it were! Hmmm….I wonder if my servant is going to make a tuna sandwich for lunch…. Oh, sorry, I got distracted. Anyway, she’s all wrapped up in this 31 days of pandas fiascos. Let me know if you come up with any good ideas to distract her, so I can turn it into 31 days of CATS!
Maybe you’ll be lucky and they’ll get you a kitten for Christmas.
Ho Ho Ho, Boss Cat
Mom’s NOT dying soon? How do you know such things?
But you’ve made me feel so much better! You’re right – I should spend more time making Dad love me as much as Mom does. I see lots of tail wagging and rolling-on-back in my future.
Now it’s my turn to help you. I’ll try to think of some ways you could distract your Mom so she can spend more time on you instead of those pandas.
Gotta go now – Dad just got home from work, and I have some serious groveling to do.
Bye for now.
Your faithful servant, Cody.
Yesterday, I arrived home from work to discover Cody with a split dew claw, requiring a quick vet visit. The Will looked to be OK, although a couple of the grommets seemed a little askew – I don’t know if that’s related to the dew claw or not.
I will give my hubby credit, however, for paying the vet bill without adding, “You wanted that damn dog.”
The foregoing post is the joint work of Anne Belov and Cordelia’s Mom. We sincerely hope you enjoyed it.
Anne Belov (a/k/a Bob T. Panda) and I both love to hear from our readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or email@example.com
Top image by: Lucy; Mehitabel images by Anne Belov; Puppy Cody images by Cordelia’s Mom