Came the Stranger

(If you understand that [naked] title reference, you’re probably as old as I am – or just a little weird.)

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Not too long ago, I read a comment on another blogger’s site to the effect that you cannot be friends with people you’ve never met. I’m not buying that.

When I started my blog just two years ago, I had no idea what I was getting into. Sure, I had a built-in readership of sorts, thanks to my daughter, Cordelia, who navigated those waters ahead of me.  Cordelia was always willing to help me through that newbie blogger stress that we’ve all experienced:

I need a title? Can’t just call it “My Blog”?

What’s a header? And how do I get  one?

Can I comment on someone else’s blog – or will they get mad at me?

How do I keep my blog from looking b-o-r-i-n-g?

Widgets? WTF?

And my personal favorite:

Should I stick with the basic WordPress, or sign up for premium? – ‘cause you know I’ll be Freshly Pressed next week, and those thousands and thousands of readers might expect more.

[snicker]

Anyway, to get back to the blogger friendship question.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve learned that it is not only possible to make friends with people you’ve never met, it is, in fact, inevitable once you’ve become a blogger. We start off merely reading each other’s posts, then advance to commenting on those posts.  Through the comments, we learn the true personality of another blogger.

Sure, we all have personas we try to present, but it’s nearly impossible to carry those personas into the comment box. (Well, except for spammers, but we know how to handle them, don’t we?)

From the comments, we sometimes advance to email communication with another blogger. Often, we befriend another blogger on Facebook, Twitter, or one of the other social media.  Sometimes we guest post for each other, or collaborate with other bloggers.  And then, if we are very lucky, we might actually get to meet another blogger face-to-face.

SmileyMM1Having already gone through the reading/comments/ email/social media phases, the meeting phase is so much easier – we’ve already made friends with each other, now it’s time to put faces with the posts and comments. No one cares whether the other blogger is tall/short, fat/thin, hirsute/bald , or has neon green skin with  purple polka dots – who cares what the other blogger looks like, we already know how that blogger thinks.

Often the blogging relationship becomes comfortable enough for bloggers to kid each other, and sometimes we feed on each other  bounce ideas off of each other.

Sometimes we learn that another blogger is going through a stressful time – loss of a pet, an illness, divorce, death of a loved one – and that’s when the emotional attachment becomes evident. We hurt for the other blogger, and we lend as much support as we can.  How many times have you  read the comments section after a post about a loss, and felt the love in those comments?

How many times have you wanted to give another blogger a physical hug instead of just a virtual one? I know I have. If that’s not friendship, what is?

It’s so hard when your new friends are scattered all over the world. If I had the money, I would rent out an entire resort and fly every blogging friend I have there for the biggest meet-and-greet ever.  And I bet that most of my new friends would come.

Then there are those bloggers who have simply gone away. How many of you are missing Doobster?  Don’t you wonder where he is and what he’s doing right now?  I know I do.

Maybe that’s the surest sign that you’ve made a friend – you miss that person when you no longer hear from him or her.

The Question: Can you make friends with someone you’ve never met?

My Opinion: Why not? Don’t most friends start off as strangers?

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I love to hear from my readers.   You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com

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Images by Cordelia’s Mom

This entry was posted in Relationships, That's Life and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

37 Responses to Came the Stranger

  1. Dan Antion says:

    I’m glad you feel this way because I count you among my friends.

    Like

  2. It’s been proven true in so many ways. Thanks, CM. ❤️

    Like

  3. Victo Dolore says:

    I agree! You can certainly be friends with virtual people. I have gotten to know some of the best here one WP. (Including you) 🙂

    Like

  4. Every stranger is a potential friend are they not? I certainly feel I have more friends in the blogging world than anywhere else, and hope those who follow me consider me as such.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. cardamone5 says:

    Absolutely, yes. There is something about blogging that enables you to be more transparent than you would be with someone you just met in person. You let your soul shine (thanks Allman Brothers), and the response is so uplifting, it is magic. And, yes, I want to congregate with all my friends, preferably somewhere tropical. It would be heaven. BTW: I think we live near each other. I am in Lewiston, NY.

    Fondly,
    Elizabeth

    Like

  6. willowdot21 says:

    I do agree with you wholeheartedly!

    Like

  7. Paul says:

    I too agree CM. Although, like you, I’ve met those who would disagree. I wish I still had a car, I’d be more than happy to arrange a meeting on your turf if you wished – but no car. I wouldn’t expect that of others – I drove for a living and would love a 6 or 7 hour road trip.

    I definitely consider you my friend CM. 🙂

    Like

    • Don’t think I haven’t thought of driving up to see you, but 6-7 hours is too long. These days I can barely manage a 2-hour drive. I also thought of flying (if I could cough up the cash), but then I’d have to figure out some way to get to where you are, and I’m not too keen on renting a car and driving around a city I’m not familiar with. Still, it’s not totally out of the realm of possibility – when my ship comes in, you will be the first person I invite to my party.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Of course you can be friends with someone you’ve never met. I have made more than a few friends since starting my blog and through the written word have developed meaningful and enriching relationships. And you are right about getting to really know a person through the comments they make.

    Like

  9. Vicky V says:

    I totally agree CM! When I first ventured into the virtual world I was surprised by how many people I met and how close we became. Some of the friends I care most deeply about are ones I have never met. The biggest change I have noticed is that when I now plan a holiday, I check to see if I will be near any of my friends and if we can meet. A few years ago I took my pug Wolfy to Brisbane for radiation therapy. I was stunned at how helpful my online Brisbane pug friends were. They picked me up from the airport, helped me with Wolfy’s daily trips to and from the hospital, invited me to their homes and took me sightseeing. They were a great comfort during a very stressful time.
    I truly believe it is very limiting to define friendship to those you have only met physically. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I have better friendships with people I know online than i have with most living people I know. I am grateful every single day for the friends I have made. You make my life worth living.

    Like

  11. Pingback: Friday Favorites #9 | Three's a Herd

  12. Nicole Roder says:

    I think the answer is absolutely yes! (And if you ever do rent out that resort, I’m there. ;))

    Like

  13. Archon's Den says:

    As one (along with Shimoniac, and Mrs. G.O.D.) who got to move up to breaking bread with you, and Hubby, I’m very happy we got to be blog-friends. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw, that’s sweet (I think). BTW, you never did say what you thought of that Mall (once you got inside).

      Like

      • Archon's Den says:

        Yeah, it’s sweet, because you’re sweet, notwithstanding anything NCM says.
        Final blog-episode of the trip, including our Mall adventures will go up in about a week.
        A belated thank you to you, and an urging to pass along thanx from Shim and I to Handsome Hubby. He’s perhaps not as….outgoing as you, but his presence and conversation at our recent bun fight was greatly appreciated. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

  14. candygai says:

    I think I was too ill to comment. But I disagree. I feel like vsomethingspeaks is a BFF, a long lost friend, I’ve just found again. As life opportunities change, why shouldn’t how we form friendships evolve as well. As for the ability to form one-on-one lifelong partnerships, I think if you are going to live together, more real life exposure is necessary at some point. But dear friendships, yes. Hasn’t any one read Jane Austen.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. joey says:

    I think reading blogs is the most intimate way to get to know someone online. I couldn’t agree with you more.
    I’ve met several of my online friends, and they have all been exactly what they seem to be, but you know, three-dimensional and therefore huggable.
    I encounter the same rhetoric, “not a real friend” or “you don’t really know them” but to be honest, I probably know some bloggers much better than people I interact with regularly, and I’m convinced people who read me make better friends, since they consistently carve out minutes of their day to read me and interact with me.
    I love my WordPress community 😀

    Liked by 1 person

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