Re-blogging Mark Bialczak’s post simply wasn’t enough. I need to write out the pain. Our good friend, Paul Curran, has passed away.
I “met” Paul Curran when I was a tiny blogger with less than 100 followers, and he began commenting on my posts. His comments were always worth reading – often funny or witty, often sympathetic, and always long. Lordy, Paul’s comments constituted posts all by themselves!
In preparation for writing today’s memorial, I pulled up all of Paul’s comments on my blog – there were 73 pages of comments! I’m still crying.
His very first comment on my blog was on March 21, 2014, on my post about naming my new SPCA puppy. Paul wrote:
Hi CM! First time here – I bopped over from OM’s site. Cody’s a great name for a dog. I’m 100% with you!
(In reviewing the comments on that post, I note several other names of bloggers who have since disappeared. Now I’m crying harder.)
Paul became a frequent visitor to my obscure little blog, and I began to wonder just who was this Canadian gentleman? His comments were appearing on other bloggers’ posts, too – to the point that it seemed like he was simply everywhere! And everyone else seemed to already know him.
A number of bloggers were encouraging Paul to start his own blog, but he never seemed to want that. He seemed content to comment on ours. But the time came that even Paul began to seek the recognition that the rest of us bloggers want. As I began to get award nominations, it became clear that certain writers were being neglected, so when I created my silly Cordelia’s Mom Enthusiasm Award, I made a point to recognize Paul:
[ADDENDUM: And a special thanks to Paul, who is one of my faithful readers and commenters, but who doe not have a blog of his own (yet).]
Paul’s response? Well, here it is:
Umm, I don’t have a blog to post it to. How come nobody ever gives dedicated readers an award? That’s what I’d like to know. Huh? Huh? Sheeesh, I’m low maintenance (you don’t have to read my blog in return), I give thoughful commentary (sometimes) because I don’t have to run off and tend my own blog), If you don’t like my comments you can delete them (unlike other bloggers who can post what they want and you can’t do a thing), and you don’t have to give me any recognition or even awards. Sigh. Ours is the life of the unappreciated. **small sniffles** I’ll be OK. Really.
How can you not love someone like that?
Since Paul did not have a blog of his own, I asked him to please, please, please guest post for me – and he agreed! It might take some time, however, between his health problems and his old computer, but he would send a draft to me. I was beside myself to think that someone so talented would be willing to share his words on my site.
But there was Paul’s darn integrity. At about that time, I thought it would be great fun to create an alter-ego who hated me, but told no one I was doing that. I merely set up the Not CM site and let her rip. Other bloggers, including Paul, came vehemently to my defense. Because these particular bloggers had become on-line friends, I decided to email each of them and let them in on the little secret. Paul was incensed and replied that he could not respect someone so devious as me and was withdrawing his agreement to guest post.
Say what? Between Paul’s comment and that of a family member who also hadn’t realized Not CM was fake, I had to come clean. I was too embarrassed to admit my deviousness on my own site, so I did so on another blogger’s site. Unfortunately, that site has since closed and I can’t link to my earlier post. Suffice it to say, the post was as guilt-ridden as they come. In order to totally appease my upset readers, I even added a Disclaimer to the mirror blog.
Suddenly, Paul Curran was on board with the whole concept of the mirror blog – and he really got into it. While Paul’s comments had always been noteworthy, his sparring with Not CM was epic:
You know NCM, you should have parked at the back of the lot away from all the Mommy-mobiles and parked at an angle so you took up two spaces. It would keep your pretty car scratch free.And it would telegraph clearly that you think you’re better than everyone else. Which is precisely why you are NOT CM. She is kind and caring and gracious.
Not CM hated Paul Curran.
Finally, Paul’s first guest post arrived – Blue Lightning. From the moment that post published, every time I pass a semi on the road or read a story about truck-driving, I think of Paul Curran.
Every single Paul Curran guest post garnered at least twice the views and comments of any of my own posts. Everyone loved Paul. I admit that at times I was a wee bit envious. Even today, his guest posts often are viewed more than any of my posts. Jealousy aside, I must admit that Paul Curran was one of the best story-tellers out there, and I’m humbled that I have so many of those stories on this site.
And let’s not forget Paul’s Peacekeeping Bears, who kept Mehitabel, Vlad, and Shadowpaws in line. I never expected Paul to agree to join the collaborated posts, and certainly never anticipated that he would come up with such awesome characters of his own. I didn’t even know he had teddy bears! Those posts brought so much joy and fun into the lives of all of us who wrote them, as well as everyone who read them.
I could go on and on with tales of Paul’s contributions to our blogging world.
But it’s time to let the rest of you speak.
Please share (in the comments section, if you wish) your most treasured memory of Paul Curran. May this post become the Bloggers’ Memorial to Paul Curran.
Go for it, my friends!
__________
I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com
__________
I always thought I would head up to Canada someday because I really wanted to meet this remarkable man. You know what I hate the most? That man was so full of stories. I hate that there are probably hundreds more that are lost forever.
LikeLiked by 5 people
At least we have all the ones he already wrote.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am heartbroken at this sad loss of a kind huge hearted man xxxx
LikeLike
I know you are, Willow. I remember when he used to go over the water to do the If We Were Having Coffee posts at your house.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am just so shocked.
LikeLike
I loved his truck driving stories, especially the one about hduling a load across country with orders but without legal papers. I dldo enjoyed his view on safety. I was hoping he would setup a blog where he could regularly share his stories. He must have had hundreds.
He will be missed 😦
LikeLike
It was his way of writing that made the stories so special. Every time I see a big truck, I will think of him.
PS: Thanks again for allowing me to use your photo.
LikeLiked by 2 people
You’re very welcome. When I first posted it, you said you might use it some day. I only wish this day hadn’t come.
LikeLike
I know. When I made that comment, I certainly didn’t envision using it for a memorial post for someone I knew and admired. But then again, maybe that’s why I got chills the first time I saw that photo.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I loved his stories. He was a funny and interesting guy.
LikeLike
That he was. He will be missed.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s a sad day. He was such a treasure, so full of wisdom and kindness. I love how many people he touched and befriended. I have hundreds of Paulian conversations too, his sweet words and stories. How blessed we all were to know him.
LikeLike
Paul made an impression on all of us.
LikeLike
I can’t even remember the first time Paul left a comment on my blog but I know there are numerous ones and they all were thoughtful, well written and I soon looked forward to seeing his contributions wherever they were posted. I’ll fully admit I started following your blog because of Paul. His writing style was captivating. His commentary appreciated. I was relieved to hear he had come back from the dead after that recent scary ordeal in hospital and had wanted to have an in person discussion with him about the experience but life had other plans and I’ll have to be content with the meager comments exchanged. Thank you to all the bloggers who encouraged and posted his guest columns. Paul may be gone but his words and his memory will live on (in part) because of you.
LikeLike
Thank you for your kind words. I wish I had saved all the emails I received from Paul, especially the one I refer to in my post. That was how I learned the true value of the man – everyone else saw mostly a witty story-teller, but I found a man with integrity and dignity far beyond the norm. It was Paul I turned to when I wanted to write a humorous post about Canadians in which I intended to use the word “canuck.” Had Paul not reviewed the post and gotten totally behind it, it would not have run. I valued his wisdom and his friendship. I was so looking forward to meeting him this year, as many of us were. Now we’ll all just have to content ourselves with reading and re-reading the stories he already wrote.
LikeLiked by 2 people
This is just freaky – I just went over to my personal Facebook page for the first time this morning, and the “memory” that popped up was that exact post: https://cordeliasmomstill.com/2014/10/09/damn-canucks/
I think Paul is still having some fun with me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So sad that he’s gone. Glad he was here with us, and that he told us so many wonderful stories.
RIP Paul.
LikeLike
He’ll still be here with us, through his stories. Thanks, Elyse.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree so much. Re blogging just does not work for this. I have been writing out in my head all day. Came time to be able to write… not much came out really. Lost for words I guess.
I too did the – read old comments. 🙂 Read last comment.- mind blown.
Thank you for a lovely honour to our friend.
LikeLike
I hope that wherever he is, he knows how much everyone loved him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I hope so too.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh, I too will miss his presence in this world, CM.
Paul’s stories often made me laugh, sometimes made me cry before I could laugh, and always led me to think more about “the other guy’s shoes”.
Blessing to Paul on his journey through the stars, and hugs to all those who bid him “Adieu! Bon Voyage!”
LikeLike
Even when he wrote about stuff I simply couldn’t get behind, I read his posts. His natural writing ability was awe-inspiring.
LikeLike
I am really sad. I loved Paul’s stories. RIP Paul X
LikeLike
Amen.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m dealing with another situation regarding a beloved blogger, so, CM, I truly have no words right now. My heart is breaking that the friends we meet here on WP are truly that … friends. RIP, Paul. Love, Amy ❤
LikeLike
Oh, Amy. Is it a blogger I might know? Anything I can do to help?
LikeLiked by 1 person
Do you know George? See my post titled “Come, Come” if you want. He suffered an aneurysm and stroke over 2 weeks ago. He’s in the hospital quite ill.
LikeLike
CM, his blog is mature but putting that aside I have gotten to know him through email books over almost 2 years and this man has the biggest heart in the world. We have become very very dear friends. He is perhaps the first person in my life who has totally accepted me for all my weirdness. It’s been a tough couple of weeks. ❤
LikeLike
I’m so sorry, Amy. I don’t know George, but I do know how close an online friend can become. My thoughts are with you and with George’s family.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you, CM! He is the hub of his family and so many just Love this man! He is surrounded by Love and the best of what medicine has to offer. Bless you for helping! ❤
LikeLiked by 1 person
I love that this weird ether we call the Internet pulls us together. But it is so hard when it rips us apart b/c none of the usual grieving methods seem to apply. How do you mourn someone you’ve never met? And yet, so wonderful so many real connections are being made.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My thoughts exactly, Kay. Is it even proper to grieve for someone you’ve never met? The worst part for me was that I couldn’t tell my husband that a dear blogging friend had died because hubby doesn’t understand blogging and would either get upset that I was mourning a man I didn’t personally know, or would belittle me for it. So I kept my grief to myself until I was able to write it out here on the internet.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I get it. Still feels like a loss!
LikeLiked by 2 people
It still IS a loss – whether *anybody else* gets it or not! We certainly do – look at this comment section, eh?!
LikeLiked by 1 person
So sorry to read this. I never knew Paul but I saw his name popping up, especially on your blog. My condolences to everyone who knew and loved him.
LikeLike
You would have loved being part of one of the collaborated posts with Paul. He really got into it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Paul was always the kind voice of reason and I am missing him so much.
LikeLiked by 1 person
He did have a way of putting things into perspective for the rest of us.
LikeLike
Pingback: In Memory of Blogger Paul Curran – priorhouse blog
He was one of a kind – what a sense of humor and a delight to chat with via blogs.
(Sorry you didn’t have anyone there to share his passing with. Here, people knew exactly who he was as I always said “Hey, look at this one by Paul…” Maybe not met in person – but very real through his words. Very much missed)
LikeLiked by 2 people
Yes, very much. Every time I pass a truck, I think of him.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So sorry I missed this very beautiful tribute, CM! I was thinking about Paul today and I’m glad I drop by your blog today. ∩(︶▽︶)∩
LikeLike
Not a problem, NBC. I’m glad you found the post now. I think about Paul a lot, too. I really miss him.
LikeLiked by 2 people
ฅ(≚ᄌ≚)
LikeLike
Reblogged this on Cordelia's Mom, Still and commented:
More than 6 years since his passing, and I still think of Paul pretty much every time I post. He was my inspiration, and were it not for him (and several other steadfast supporters), I would have folded up my tent a long time ago. I’m reposting this today for the benefit of my newer followers who never had a chance to “meet” Paul Curran. There’s also a special link in the right sidebar under Categories, by which you can read most of his stories.
LikeLike
Pingback: When Bloggers Play | Cordelia's Mom, Still