I’m happy to report that my boobs are in excellent condition, even if the rest of me is falling apart. My recent mammogram says so.
My male readers may wish to skip this post, unless they really like reading about boobs. (I can hear the clatter of all those computers, tablets and smart phones being shut down.)
Even at my advanced age, mammograms are recommended as a preventative measure every few years. I ignored my doctor the last time he gave me a script for one, but at this year’s annual physical, I agreed to present myself to my local hospital’s radiology department forthwith. I figured I had turned my back on enough of my doctor’s recommendations, and I didn’t want to get a notation in my chart as a “non-compliant patient,” so off I went.
There is one huge advantage to being an obese older lady – mammograms are so much easier with larger breasts. I remember going for my first mammogram as a young woman (prior to childbirth), and I remember how much it hurt when the technician was trying to flatten my then tiny boobs on the scanning tray (or whatever it’s called).
My local hospital is quite efficient. I had, of course, made an appointment, and a receptionist called me a couple of days before to pre-register me. On arrival to the hospital, I was able to skip the line at the front desk and go right to the radiology department. I may have imagined it, but I swear I could feel daggers being thrown from the eyes of people who walked into the hospital after me and were forced to stand in the registration line.
Anyway, I turned over my insurance card and photo ID. I am so glad they ask for photo ID ‘cause you know there are so many people who might steal my identity for the sole purpose of absorbing x-rays. Another lady in the radiology line was getting an abdominal CT scan, and she was also asked for photo ID. I’m sure there were lots of shady people hanging around who were simply dying to take her place and drink that soap-flavored contrast.
But I digress.
From the radiology admission window, I was directed to the inner waiting room. While awaiting my test, I watched the other patients and the hospital personnel. At one point a very handsome young man in scrubs approached the waiting room, and all I could think was, “Please, don’t let him be the one doing the mammograms today!” How embarrassing would that be? Thank heavens, he went on past.
After about 20 minutes, I was escorted to the mammography room by a very pleasant 40-ish woman. The room was all pink-and-white – even the machine itself was white with pink banding. Fortunately, I happen to like pink, but I know quite a few women who might object to that color scheme. It is, after all, just a wee bit sexist.
The test itself took all of 15 minutes and was not the least bit uncomfortable since now that I’m fat, there was plenty of breast material to work with. I admit it was a little weird having that material stretched to the side for the lateral shots, but it wasn’t painful.
Once the test was completed, the technician had me wait in the room while she took the x-rays for review by the in-house doctor, who pronounced everything was A-OK. (The technician did not relay that mine were the most beautiful boobs the doctor had ever seen, but I’m sure that must have been the doctor’s opinion.)
All done! While I have many medical related worries, at least the likelihood of breast cancer isn’t one of them. That’s a very good worry to set aside.
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I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com
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Image by Cordelia’s Mom
Cordelia's Mom, Still 
Ha! Very cute. Love the picture, too.
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*snicker* I won’t tell you who’s in that photo, or just how hard it was to get that exact shot.
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Well…that’s one less thing to worry about. Being a bearer of tiny breasts, I must say I’m not looking forward to doing this test anytime soon. 🙂
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I made it sound worse than it would be. A good technician knows just how to make you comfortable, no matter what size your breasts are. And don’t forget – the machines are much more sophisticated now than they were 35 years ago, before I got married and had kids.
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Just keep getting those mammograms. Because I skipped them for a couple of years and had a very ugly surprise the next time. You’re never too young or too old. It’s an equal opportunity disease.
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You’re right, of course. My mother-in-law had breast cancer, and I remember what she went through. Definitely would not want it to be me.
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Glad it all came out well. No pun intended..:)
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Ha! 🙂
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Woohoo! So glad you did it and that it was fine. 🙂
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I figured you’d enjoy this post, both as a woman and as a doctor. Still want me to put a link over on your site?
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YES! 🙂
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There is something to be a large woman and having big boobs… But do they need to stand on the other side of the machine with their foot on it and pull???? Just kidding Great post.
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Damn, I wish you had contributed to this post. What an image! I’ll be laughing all night.
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Good girl. I have mine in a couple of weeks. here’s to good results!
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Good luck, Elyse.
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Hey, any word on Paul?
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Not a thing. I suspect he still doesn’t have internet access, or someone would have heard from him by now.
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Hope that is all it is!
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I have yet to get my boobs squeezed. Hmmm, need to put this in my to do list. Ouch! ʕ ಡ ﹏ ಡ ʔ
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Definitely needs to go on the to-do list. A good technician knows how to do the test without making you too uncomfortable. My post made it sound worse than it is for the sake of humor.
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(>‿◠)✌
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My favorite topic!!! 🙂
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Jason, I didn’t know you were interested in …… mammograms.
Oh, wait …
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LOL!!! 🙂
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You continue to make me smile with your creative mind. Love that picture, CM! Just too cute! As for mammograms I must admit I have been lax. I just don’t agree with invading my breasts with very high intense x-rays. I won’t go on and on how I feel. I did however enjoy your post. Like you I have enough to contend with healthwise. I’m happy for you your beautiful breasts are happy. ❤
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Thanks, Amy. That’s probably the only part of my body that is happy! The photo was fun, but I’d be reluctant to do any more like that.
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I give you a lot of credit for doing that photo. I don’t think I would have the courage to do what you did. ❤
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Yeah, you should have seen some of the shots I had to delete. A porn queen I’m not. 🙂
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You are so funny!!! How I am laughing! You ought to be proud you are not a porn queen. Tee hee …..
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I am so pleased that you are okay!
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Glad you took Dr’s advice and got checked, super glad you came back A-ok!
In another three years I join the provincial breast screening program, I have history in my mom’s family of breast cancer, so I need to take advantage of the regular squeezes to make sure I don’t get surprised with it.
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Have fun! 🙂
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The things we women must go through. Glad for the happy update.
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Thanks, Diana.
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Loved reading about your experience 🙂
Just had one a few weeks ago. Was much less uncomfortable than the last one which was 15 years ago.
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Ha! Having never met you, I can only assume that you understand my point about it being easier as you get older and a little more endowed.
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I totally understand! There are some benefits to getting older, wiser and more buxom 🙂
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Yep, boob squeeze coming up next week. Told hubby that it’s uncomfortable, but the weirdest part is getting handled like a slab of beef. 😂
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Yeah. not like when hubby plays with them, right? Good luck next week, hope all goes well.
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Finally noticed this title and….what was I saying? Oh yeah…. realized I’d failed to read this post. 😳
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Ha! It is a catchy title, isn’t it? The post itself got a good response, too.
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