Ah, the sweet flavor of success!
Apparently, my little blog has become so well-known that now I am getting death threats from spammers.
Reading the following email, I don’t know whether to laugh my ass off or to immediately set up a Go Fund Me campaign (click twice on the email to enlarge it):
Dear Serial Killer:
Let me point out some of the many ways you slipped up:
♦ You claim responsibility for the Twin Towers AND the London subway bombing – I’m honored to think my pitiful little blog is up there with those two world-changing events, but somehow I don’t believe that’s the case.
♦ You refer to “your friend” and “he” – I don’t have any friends, and certainly none of the opposite sex. My few female acquaintances are more likely to spend their limited funds on wine and chocolate than to hire a hit man.
♦ You indicate you “sent my boys to track you down…” What makes you think I might not like all that male attention?
♦ You ask for $8,000 – (a) I’m a blogger with a day job – there might be $80 in my checking account, and you can have that if you want; (b) nowhere in your email do you indicate where that money is to be sent or delivered – don’t you want your fee?
♦ Did you ever think of offering your services to me? I have lots of people I might like to see dead, provided you can do them all for the aforesaid $80.
♦ As much as I’d like to hear “the Tape,” it’s probably not possible as I haven’t had a tape player for the last 10 years or so. You might want to upgrade to digital.
♦ English is obviously not your native language. You might want to take a refresher course before you send off the next email. Good luck as I await your reply.
PS: In accordance with your final paragraph, I promise not to tell ANYONE about your email. It can be our little secret.
__________
I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com
__________
Images by Cordelia’s Mom
Cordelia's Mom, Still 
Okay, well, that is super creepy. Who is this douche bag extortionist? Anyway CM, you are in big trouble for spilling the beans like this, but I appreciate the valuable public service you have rendered. I hope you find and step on this douche bag someday, though.
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Like all spammers, this one hides well. I’m pretty sure that’s not his/her email address, either, because I looked it up and that is a legitimate company in the NYC area. Bet they don’t know that someone has gotten into their email system.
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Creeeeepy……
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BAHAHAHAHA!!! Sorry, you received this. People are ridiculous.
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I’m not sorry – it gave me something to write about. Post ideas are so hard to come up with sometimes, so I’ll take whatever I can get.
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Man, why do you get all of the cool spam?!?!??!
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I’ll be more than happy to share …
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Hi CM, are you familiar with the term WTF ?? A lot of desperation out there. This is a new one, and a bit creepy.
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I’m not only familiar with the term WTF, I’ve used it quite often in my posts. Cordelia and I had a good laugh over this one – she’s way ahead of me in blogger recognition, and she’s never received something like this. Guess I just have a special way about me.
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OMG! CM! Why do these things happen to you? This is so creepy and I applaud you for not going into fear! People are NUTS just plain NUTS. How did they get your email addy in the first place? Unbelievable!
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No reason for fear. I suspect I’m not the only person who received this email. What’s amazing to me is that anyone would really believe someone would fall for that and be willing to cough up the initial $3,000.
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As you pointed out and what is so obvious, there is nothing stated as to where to send the money. DUH!
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Which is a shame, ’cause you know, I spent all night gathering it together ….
Not. 🙂
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LOL@CM!!!!! I so needed that laugh! Thank you!!! 🙂
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BTW, I list my email address at the bottom of each post. The email went to my CM account, not to my personal account, and it did not include my real name. One more way to know it was simply spam.
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Sounds like a reason to have a wine, chocolate and ice cream party. $80.00 would go a long way if you don’t have to go a long way.
Lemme help.
http://www.mercersdairy.com/#!wine-ice-cream/c22sl
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OMG! I’m going to run to Wegmans after work. At least I’ll die happy, if the threat turns out to be real. 🙂
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Wow. That is a MUCH better spam than I’ve EVER gotten. Gee golly whiz, so impressive. You must be a lot more important than me. I get Nigerian princes and lots of fake products — and occasionally spamming trolls — but that’s special. Congrats!
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This spammer definitely gets points for creativity, even if he/she was too dumb to include instructions on how to pay.
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Hmmm – I get spam titled “Hair Rescue” (yes please!) “Local Moms Need Easy Sex” (as opposed to?), “Hot Russian Women Looking for Husbands” (Siberia maybe?) and an inordinate amount from people who are dying and want to leave me their fortunes. Nothing from the Deadly Networks. I wonder if they are on Direct TV? Great post! 🙂
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“Deadly Networks” – sounds like a reality show, doesn’t it? May they should hook up with one of your spammers and work off some of that aggression.
(GASP – did I actually type that?)
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This made my trigger finger itch for my AR….just sayin’.
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I hear you. It made me go down to the Pistol Permit Department to find out how they’re doing on my permit application.
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That’s a new one. I think I will have to have a look through my spam to see if there are any worth a giggle 🙂
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Please do look at your spam. It would comforting to know that at least one other person got that, or a similar, email. 😉
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I had 27 spam, and all were different. I will keep an ye out for that one 🙂
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Hey, this is a steep up from the Nigerian prince. Congratulations.
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Maybe, maybe not. At least the Nigerian prince is offering to send ME money.
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Oh, they’ve found you. Guess they gave up here – that thing was going all around here just before Christmas….looking for Christmas present money then? Well, Valentines is coming up! Then Easter, Mother’s Day, graduations…
You just have to laugh
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Aha! Glad it wasn’t just me. I think I like the deposed royalty scams better.
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or the sweepstake you never hear of…some people are just so creative!
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Good grief! I don’t know whether to laugh or cringe.
You don’t happen to know any Nigerian princes who might have hired him by any chance?!
I really hope there’s no one out there who’d actually fall for it but sadly there probably is.
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I hope that if anyone did actually fall for it, they managed to find out where to send that money. Otherwise, it would be wasted foolishness. 🙂
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Holy Hannah… just when I thought I had seen every kind of spam there was… Hugs!
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I’ve talked to a number of other bloggers and business people, and no one has received this particular spam email. Guess I’m just special. 🙂
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Love your reply! 🙂 What a bunch of uselessness.
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Well, at least the spammer was able to get some of his/her anger out, and it was fun replying, so it was a win-win.
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OMG! Saw your comment over at irtfy and came here. I did not expect something like that! Creepy! You made a good comment back!
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Thanks. It had to be one of the most creative spam emails I’ve ever received. The deposed kings all seem to write using the same script.
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I see.
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My word, you have obviously tweaked someone enough to provoke a horribly written, terribly organized extortion attempt to spare your life. Would it be wrong to say GOOD FOR YOU! You know you’re doing something right when people sit up and pay attention… 🙂
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I think maybe they just got the wrong email address. I’m sure no one could hate me enough to want me dead, at least I hope not.
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