Lots of bloggers seem to be re-publishing posts during this holiday season, and I want to be a “big blogger,” too. This post previously ran for my birthday earlier this year, but the subject matter is certainly appropriate for Christmas. If you’re still trying to figure out the perfect gift for the hard-to-please person, you might want to keep the following in mind:
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My birthday (never mind which one!) was last month, which brings me to the subject(s) of today’s post:
What do you do when you receive a gift from someone you really don’t like?
My gut reaction is to simply tell that person I hate him/her and to take that gift and …. but you get the drift, and I’m a polite person. So what I usually do is accept with a gracious “Oh, that’s so thoughtful. Thank you.”
If the gift is something I like, even though I don’t like the giver, I will use it/spend it/whatever, feeling slightly guilty at the time of using/spending/whatever.
If the gift is, like the giver, unpalatable to me, I do one of four things: throw it out, donate it to some unsuspecting charity, store it away in case anyone I know ever has a use for it, or immediately re-gift it.
Which brings me to the next question:
How do you feel about re-gifting?
I don’t know about others, but I personally feel guilty any time I re-gift something. And I always get caught!
A few years back, I re-gifted a restaurant certificate I had received and had no use for. The recipient of my re-gift was my mother-in-law. I knew she often ate at that restaurant and would enjoy the certificate since she is on fixed income. And she was happy to receive it – however, I realized my error when she said in a confused voice, “This is very nice, but why am I getting it from [name of person who originally gave the certificate to me]?”
Of course, that works both ways. My mother-in-law once gave me a set of very nice bed sheets, forgetting that they were the same sheets I had given her a couple of years earlier.
So, the next question, of course, is:
How do you handle your own gift being re-gifted to you?
In the aforementioned re-gifting scenario, I am very proud of the fact that I simply acknowledged the thoughtfulness of the gift without letting on that I had ever set eyes on it before.
I understand, of course, that one of the reasons people re-gift is a desire to show affection or respect, accompanied by a lack of funds. And I’m OK with that.
At an office holiday party years ago, I received a basket made up of obviously discarded candles and bath gels. I use neither. But the giver was a young lady we had only just hired and who had been unemployed for some time. I knew from talking to her that she had suffered serious financial hardships and had no excess money, so again, I accepted the gift with the usual “That’s so thoughtful. Thank you.” And then promptly threw everything away once I got home.
What about people who can afford not to re-gift but do so anyway?
This one really ticks me off. I don’t mind if a family member or close friend gives me something like a gift card that they have received and have no use for so long as they acknowledge that as being the case. I often re-gift store cards and restaurant certificates to my own kids because I know they have little or no money left after making their student loan, rent or mortgage, and car payments.
What annoys me are those people who re-gift simply because they’re cheapskates.
Do you really think that hideous neon-colored plaster naked lady statue is going to look any better in my home than yours? OK, so maybe you do think that (you stuck up, arrogant bitch), but what makes you think I want it in my home instead of yours?
When it works.
As I said, re-gifting of store and restaurant certificates is usually OK with me, provided they’re for establishments I normally frequent.
Before I developed my ulcerative colitis, I often received other people’s cast-off fruitcakes. That was fine with me, too, because I was one of the few people on the face of this earth who actually liked fruitcake.
Is there a point to this post?
Probably not. But if there is, it would be this:
Even re-gifting requires some thought. Don’t just give other people crap you don’t want for the sake of having something to wrap up. Think a little – will the recipient be appreciative of the gift in question and able to use it, or will it likely be re-gifted to someone else, who will then re-gift it to someone else, ad infinitum. If it’s really just junk, throw it out and save the rest of us the grief.
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I love to hear from my readers. You may comment on this post, comment on my Facebook or Twitter pages, or email me at cordeliasmom2012@yahoo.com or notcordeliasmom@aol.com
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Images by: SalFalko, and Chris Piascik, and Kevin Harber, respectively.
Cordelia's Mom, Still 
A group of friends I used to spend more time with used to have a holiday tradition where we could exchange only re-gifted gifts. This is not as cheesy as it sounds. The main rule was that it had to be something you loved, but were ready to have move on, and had to be something you thought the recipient would really like. I got some very treasured keepsakes this way, which was especially wonderful, as one of our group died of cancer a few years after we started this tradition. I got to keep some things to help me remember her.
As far as gift cards and restaurant certificants, inthink that fine too. Stuff the giver obviously thougt was crap when they got it? Not so much.
I had a strange situation a year or two back, where I had given someone a very small original drawing, and they asked me if it was okay if they regifted it to someone. I wanted to say, “no, you insensitive twit. If you don’t want it, give it back,” but i didn’t. Oh well. Once you give something you just have to let it go.
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Oh, that must have hurt that they immediately wanted to re-gift your artwork. How crass! It only would have been OK if they had then explained that there was a loved one or friend (maybe dying of cancer or something) who always wanted one of your pictures and here was the opportunity to make that person happy (before they died).
Your re-gifting party sounds wonderful. What a great way to turn something not-so-nice into a loving tradition.
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It just sort of bothered me that she asked if it would be OK. I mean she was giving it to someone I didn’t know, so who would be the wiser.
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I loath shopping for gifts. Hate, hate, hate it. No matter how much thought I put into something, it always seems to be the wrong size, color, or item. Has left me rather jaded. So I have the “gift closet” which houses all of crap I get but don’t want. Each is marked with where it came from. I have yet to have someone say to my face they hate anything I have given them… 😛
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That is funny Victo – you go shopping in your closet. Ha! It’s a big world out there and someday you’ll meet someone special who helps you out of the closet. Ha!
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One can only hope! 🙂
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No, they probably just re-gifted it to someone else.
(Sorry, Victo, I couldn’t resist. Having followed you for awhile now, I’m sure you don’t just re-gift crap without considering the recipient. Some re-gifts are very nice – and I’m still waiting for my pony.)
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They probably did! 😉 I don’t have a pony in my closet or I would give it to you, for sure!
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That’s sweet. I’m OK with just Puppy Cody, at least for now.
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I try to think if someone will like a gift – then if it’s regifted or not, I’ll give it. I will confess and preface the gift with something like: I know you will enjoy this. Then I generally give something small as well – like a token of newness that says : I was in a store and thought about you on this special day..
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Somehow I can’t envision anyone not liking one of your gifts. The re-gifters I was complaining about are those who just pass on crap to get rid of it. We had a lady in our office who has lots of cats. She was given a mug with a cat face on it which she didn’t want, so at our very next office get-together (for someone else’s birthday), she gave the mug to the birthday girl, claiming she had bought it especially for her. Only problem was, the birthday girl is a dog-lover and really doesn’t care for cats. Obviously, no real thought went into that re-gift. And the giver in question is at the high end of the hierarchy, salary-wise, so there’s no reason she couldn’t have given something more appropriate.
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Reblogged this on cgw629 and commented:
I can identify.
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I will accept a regifted panda, pony, horse or oriental shorthair kitten.
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How about a re-gifted dog? Puppy Cody keeps hijacking my blog.
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My cats might complain. Otherwise, a big yes!
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